Once Upon a Tanbo

Posted on: February 13, 2008

A summerized post of the weekend + Thoughts in general

This was a crazy weekend for me..
I hosted my first ever real “house party”and probably my last for a long long time. I am just not cut out to be a hostess! But it was very fun and I think that everyone who came had a good time. I think that maybe 10 people was a little much, so next time I think I would have a more “intimate” 6 people or less type gathering. But, the main purpose was to
have my coworker, Mr. O interact more with my friend Ana, and they seemed to hit it off again, so I’m happy about that.

Seems like everyone here has been sick lately, for the last 2 weeks I’ve had the same stuffy nose and drowsiness, and today Ryohei is staying home from school in bed with a cold. I know that Japanese winter
lingers on through March, but I hope that the tempurature picks up in
the next couple weeks. I don’t have a lot of winter clothes so I’m just
wearing the same outfits to work each week.. its a little bit embarrasing. One of my goals when I go back home next month is to pick up lots and lots of clothes.

To be honest, part of me feels a little discouraged at the fact of
having to keep up my job for the next 18 months. I’ve been in Japan 18 months already, so I’ve kind of reached the halfway point of living in the Kansai area. I am 99% sure we will be in Niigata within 2 years, and that I’ll be more of a housewife/parttime job as opposed to a
single/full time worker. And its hard to keep myself in
check until this phase in my life in completed.

Another reason is just feeling like I am just stuck in “temporary.” I
enjoy my job, but its not permanent.. I enjoy Kobe and my friends here, but I know that eventually I will be moving away from them. I don’t really like my apartment and am excited to be getting away from it, but
as long as I am at my job it is the most affordable option.

I know I should just live in the now, but I often feel like I haven’t
really had a choice in my life. I’ve always done safe, predicitable
things.. I guess coming to Japan could be considered unusual, but since I came over as a JET it has been a very stable process with lots of hand holding. I think that when I finally end my contract and go without a
job or fall back plan into the unknown is when I will feel more in
control of my life. I know its wrong to compare yourself, but I’m a
little jealous of my two closest friends here Mandy and Ana, but for
different reasons but because they both seem in control of their life..
One for coming out here to get married have a baby and now being a
housewife in japan raising her son; one for coming out here finding a job and living independantly without any assistance..

I just really want to feel unbound, and maybe by leaving Kobe and starting “from scratch” in Niigata will finally allow me to feel fin control of the direction my life is going.


3 Responses to ""

I feel your pain, and ryohei`s, lately I have had medical problem after medical problem after medical problem…From colds to mirgraines to back ache to a stomach ulcer. I have had enough! Drink lots of Lemon C drinks and go to bed early (in otherwords stay off the internet at night!…I know it is hard!)

I can also understand where you are coming from with your job….I am in a simlar situation where I have been in this job for over a year now, and will be in it until end of June then I will be going back to Australia for awhile….and at the moment I hate it…It is taking so much out of me and I don`t feel like i am getting enough back from it…I feel like I am in Limbo….once I end this job I will be in Australia but only for six months to a year, and while I will have to work it will be in temporary situations.

I feel like I am just floating by my life watching it sometimes….

I want to say it is a phase…I know partly for me it is a phase because I am feeling unwell, so it could get better!

Unfortunately I think everyone has down times…

I hope you feel more in control soon, perhaps your trip home will help you put things in perspective a little bit.

Hope your feeling better soon!

I know exactly how you are feeling. The whole time I have been with Naoki, my life has been in “temporary” mode.

When Naoki and I first got together he only had 5 more months left in Australia. We didnt know what we were going to do when he left.

Luckily I got a working holiday visa and followed him to Japan. But with the working holiday visa, the length of the visa is only 6 months, with a chance of 2 extensions. So the whole time I was in Japan, I was in the hands of the Japanese immigration office.

And now I am living in Oz, but it is also only temporary. I will be back in Japan in September. So there is no point trying to make new friends, or trying to look for a job, because I will be gone in 7 months.

My 3 months with Naoki is nearly up, and I am upset and sad. I am sick of this situation…

Hopefully when you move to Niigata your life will be a little more stable!

Btw, will you be living with Ryohei’s parents in Niigata? What do you think of that?

I hope you feel better soon!! I am also battling with a cold from December!! It just doesnt seem to want to go away!

lulu – hope you are feeling better 😦 sorry to hear you’ve been in an unhealthy patch hoping to hear good news from you soon about feeling better

yah i guess its a similar situation.. i just want to be settled!!! i can imagine going to a different country would be even more unsettling 😦 what are you and shumpei going to do while back home? will you be working! hoping to hear of wedding plans from you within the year 😉 hehe

nay – i replied on your post at your blog as well, but i want to say again feel free to mail or contact me anytime if you want to write a venting email!

im sure your time at home will be filled with wedding prep and pass before you know it!

if we move to niigata i think its highly unlikely we would live with Ryoheis parents. the part of niigata he wants to move to is about 2 hours from his hometown. if we moved to near there for some reason we might live with them for a half year or so to save up money for a car but we’d be getting our own place soon. i like his parents and i hope we visit a lot, but i dont know if i could live with them for a long period of time at this point. i hope his mom will help me out with my kids though since my own mom wont be around.

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