Once Upon a Tanbo

First time mom paranoia?

Posted on: March 19, 2009

Ok if you know me, you know that I am pretty much laidback and rational about most things. But lately I have been so paranoid that there is something wrong with BG. Is this something that all first time moms… or even pregnant woman go through? I think this fear is pretty much unfounded. The doctor hasn’t mentioned anything to us but then again I found myself sort of untrusting of the Japanese medical system as I heard sometimes they preform tests on you with out your knowledge and don’t tell you the results.

I sort of wish that Japan offered things like nuchual scanning and the triple and quad tests that the US did. I know people say those things can be misleading anyways but after looking at BGs dvd again it doesn’t look like she a very defined nose and I read online that babies with chromonal disorders like downs have underdeveloped noses… of course it could just be since she is half asian since my husband has a small nose with very little bridge but since I have quite the honker I guess I’m worried. 😦

I am just hoping that this is me being paranoid since all I want is a healthy baby.

Since finding out BG’s gender we’ve been calling her by her name and I’ve started writing in her baby book, and organizing her clothes and stuff. Its just got so much more real and if something was to happen at this point…

Help ;_;


16 Responses to "First time mom paranoia?"

Oh Hon!
No worries!!!!

I think the nose thing is… of course because of your hubb’s nationality. AND… Girls seam to always take after thier fathers (and boys thier mothers).

Dont worry.
AND, having the internet at your finger tips is sometimes not a good thing. Esp when you get a ‘fear’ and then you hit up Google…. BAD idea! haha!
I am a little hypacondriact myself… so Googling a medical thing can sometimes get me into trouble.

I would not worry…
Your thoughts are Noraml!
PLZ just enjoy your last few weeks of Freedom, without worry.
And, maybe just ask about the issues your having @ the next appt… you might be put as Ease!

Unfortunately completely and utterly normal. And get used to it as it gets worse once they’re born! In my experience the only cure is a second kid- then you’re too busy to worry!

I have an uncle with Downs and was hypersensitive. Apparently they are pretty good at picking it up on the scans. We may not have genetic testing here but we get monthly pretty detailed scans.

Can’t wait to hear your choice of name….

Alisa – Oh thank you for replying ;_; I’m usually not too paranoid about my own health since (knock on wood) I’ve never had too many issues… but I think I am a bit of a control freak because not being about to do anything right now or know for sure scares the crap out of me.
Yah… Google is not always the best medicine as I think I really worked myself up yesterday and made it worse (thanks too much free time at work) If I don’t feel better by next week I may bring it up. I feel like in my heart everything will be fine… but its just wow… if this is just the beginning then being a parent is going to be frightening for sure.

Fukases – Ok, I will try to trust in my doctor then. I asked her at my last appointment if there was anything abnormal and she was like “not yet” or something like that… Not entirely settling, I’m looking forward to my next appt. though. I think you will like my name πŸ˜€ I’ve told a lot of people IRL already to good reactions (no WHAT, are you kiddings?) so if I end up meeting with you before shes born I will tell you then, just not going to make the big reveal on the blog until afterwards πŸ˜‰

Yes, yes, yes and yes – and one no. It is not just a first child thing – not for me anyway. It was bad with Shou, worse with Marina (but that was because we knew something was a bit wrong just not exactly what) and I am getting it now too. Can’t wait for the bunster to be out so I can count fingers and toes, even though I have seen them all on the scan anyway!!

Remember BG isn’t even a kilo yet so if she had too big of a snoz already you would be wondering what other parts were missing out.

My doctor is an ‘at this point in time the baby is fine’ kind of person too. I like the detailed routine scans though – everything gets measured and checked.

Last bit of advice – back away from the google button. When I got told I was GBS positive (a test they do here at 36 weeks) I googled to see what happens if the GBS gets passed onto the baby during labor and my god at one stage it would have been hard to convince me I wasn’t having a baby with permanent brain damage. With Both Shou and Marina I tested positive and had to have a penecilin drip during labour – they are both fine and the only one with any brain damage after having two kids in two years seems to be me.

Take it easy.

Oh Sarah, I totally empathize! Pregnancy is so scary, really. I was paranoid about one thing or another the whole time. There are still things to worry about once they’re on the outside, sure, but the random horrifying paranoia does ease up once you can actually see that they’re doing just fine.

About the ultrasound– ultrasounds in general are weird, honestly. I was kind of alarmed by some of Simon’s ultrasounds where it looked like his upper lip was enlarged compared to his lower lip. Of course I freaked myself out by googling cleft lip and stuff. Uh, yeah… turns out the kid just likes to suck in his lower lip! And your little girl looks like she just has a supercute Asian nose. Try not to worry about it!

I’m just going to echo what everyone else is saying, yes, it is totally normal, and yes, step away from the google!! I worked myself up into enough frenzies while pregnant with Dylan to know … even now, that he’s born, there’s just so much to worry about (and googling just gives you confirmation that your worries are founded, if that’s what you’re looking for)! It might not be what you exactly want to hear, but with your kids, you just never stop worrying. Its part of the job. But its also part of the job not to let those fears overwhelm you, and try and recognize which fears are rational, and which aren’t.

In any event, I wouldn’t stress the nose thing. She’s tiny right now, and babies facial features generally aren’t all that defined, and don’t really become defined until they’re a bit older (how many babies have you seen with cute, tiny, button noses — do they all grow up to be cute, tiny, button-nosed adults?). Also, like you said, your husband has a pretty low arch, and maybe she takes after him, which would make her current nose uber tiny. I have a pretty big nose myself, but Dylan takes right after his dad in the nose department, luckily. Bring it up if you’re super in your gut worried about it, but you had your “big” anatomy scan, right? They would have picked out any abnormalities at that point. Also, chromosomal issues are pretty rare for two people in their 20s without any history of genetic disorders.

Hang in there, everything is going to be fine!

GW – Thanks, sort of happy to hear you felt (and are feeling) the same as I. How far along with you with Marina when they told you about her issue? That must have been so stressful. I guess no news is good news then.

Allison – Thanks!! Simon does have cute little pounty lips doesn’t he! Your right it is probably just some of her “asianness” and hey I guess I should be thankful her nose doesn’t resemble mine as it gave me a ton of grief imagined and otherwise when I was going through puberty.

Jessica – Alright, I am just going to stay away from google, and try to enjoy my scan dvd without pausing it every 30 secs to see if I can see her nose (lol) I think I am just making a big fuss out of nothing but feel much better finding out this is a pretty common feeling. I thought maybe if it was just me that I should take that as a sign something really was wrong.

i worried through all three pregnancies myself. probably silly with 2 and 3 but there you go! completely normal. *hugs*

i agree, it’s probably too early at this point to have a detailed u/s picture, so try not to worry about it (yeah, easier said than done πŸ˜‰ and try to keep away from dr. google!! lol

one video i just loved during my first pregnancy was this one: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/program.html

btw, if you’re really worried about downs, there is a blood test that they can do to check if there’s a risk. i can’t remember how much it cost, maybe 3,000 yen or so, you can always ask your dr. if you can have it done. it’s separate from the usual blood tests they do.

Try to take a deep breath Sara, all the girls have fab advice for you. When in doubt, buy more cheese or Milano Cookies “wink”!

Don’t worry – it’s normal to worry. How ironic, no?? Yep. Totally normal to be anxious. But I agree with everyone else. Enjoy yourself and eat some cheese – all that good calcium for you πŸ˜‰

Awwww, I know it’s awful, but totally normal! Even on my 4th pregnancy, I worried constantly! This may be a little TMI, but w/ my 1st pregnancy, I was scared to strain too hard on the pot, worried I’d accidentally push the baby out! What a dork! LOL They ended up having to suck her out w/ the vacuum ’cause she just wouldn’t budge!

And remember, there’s pressure on her face, from the fluid and the placenta, and when you’re lying down, also from your internal organs, so sometimes her features are flattened a bit depending on how she’s laying!

lol at Slime’s story of her 1st kiddie…! And yes,I am/was other worrier.Not as much with DD1 as I wasnt knowingly pregnant for long enough(TG!) but with DD2,phew! And even now I worry.Just part of the whole motherhood thing.No wonder we get grey hairs;)

I guess it is normal. I really enjoyed reading everyone’s comments, it made me feel a little better even haha. Not that I was googling down syndrome the other day or anything… =/

I’m sure BG will be born healthy and beautiful.

You’ve started a baby book? Ooh.. did you buy a pre-set up one, or are you making your own from scartch? I’ve been thinking about starting one too (I still have my own and I cherish it so much)

Take care, and try to stay in good spirits BG Mommy!

Welcome to parenthood! Totally normal. Wait for the anxiety dreams in the final trimester. You know, forgetting the kid in the car seat on the top of the car and remembering when you’ve already driven something like 5 blocks. . . at least that was a favorite reoccuring one with me. I worried the most during my pregnancy with DD2–no, wait, I worried a lot with my first too.

I used to read that What to Expect When you’re Expecting book every week/month religiously. During my first pregnancy I discovered the “When something goes wrong” sections. During DD2’s pregnancy I kept myself from flipping through those sections. And I stopped watching ER or any other medical shows.

Find some good music and nibble on cheese or–this being Japan–some chirimen or shirasu!

as far as ultra sound pictures go–I’ve always been so pleased that my babies came out not resembling them. First they looked like odd fish and later little weird aliens–on the ultra sounds. Very relieved to get small cute humanoid offspring.

Illahee – Thanks for the link, I will check it out when I get some free time! Its good to know there IS a bloodtest available… I think that being able to write this entry and get all the responses back was enough to eliviate a lot of my fears.

GJ – Hahah… I wish food could help things but lately I’ve been feeling like a doughgirl… gross

Coffeegrl – Glad to know I’m just following the norm!

Slime – OMG. lol thats too funny. I didn’t think about all the “water” pressure and stuff… good info!

Marianne – Wow… part of my feels like it would be nice NOT to know since week 4 or so, since then it has been worry worry worry… I guess you made up for it with no. 2 then ;D

Khea – Glad my post could help you lol. I have a pre-made one.. although to be honest its not as nice as _my_ baby book which was really really detailed. I guess they don’t just make them like the used too… I will probably have to suppliment with some of my own stuff as well. Hows Ponyo? He/she kicking up a storm yet?

CGG – Good advice!! You are the second person who has told me not to read the “when things go wrong” section. They should sell it in a seperate issue with a lock and key. Only a few more weeks til trimester 3 so we’ll see if some of those dreams come up. I had a doozy last night where I dreamt I could see her heart beating through my stomach… weird..

I am pretty laid-back too but pregnancy sent me a bit doolally and I worried CONSTANTLY about ever little thing. I do think that while the internet has been my best friend at times, when I was pregnant it was my mortal enemy because I was always discovering things that stressed me out. Sometimes it is possible to have too much information!! I also worried about the scans not being enough to spot birth defects etc. but I came to the conclusion that whatever life threw at me I would cope with it. I remember being very stressed at one point that Joey didn’t have thumbs because I had yet to see a shot of him in my womb sucking his thumb and everyone else I knew who was pregnant at the same time had! Apparently when he was born one of my first questions to the doctor was whether he had thumbs or not! Funny how you worry endlessly about stupid things. It is all part of the process though and I think it prepares you. The detailed screens we have at every appointment do cut down issues like that so I was very relieved to be having a baby in Japan. I dread to think what a stress-head I will be if I am lucky enough to have another baby because the UK doesn’t offer scans etc.. like they do in Japan.

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