Once Upon a Tanbo

Archive for May 2009

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Last night Ryohei and I attended the “funeral” for his friend who passed away last week. I use quotes because it wasn’t the actual funeral but more of a wake(?) type set up where we went in spoke to his parents a bit, prayed at the alter, and left after about 20 mins or so.

Poor Ryohei – he was not in good shape. He was pretty much crying as soon as he went to the alter to say good-bye. We went out to get dinner with two more of his friends afterwards and they were all in shocked silence. Afterwards he went home and asked if he could call another friend and they had a LONG talk which involved more crying etc. I’ve been really lucky so far as to never have anyone really close to me die so I’ve felt pretty helpless and not knowing what to say for the past few days.

I haven’t ever seen Ryohei this bad though… I guess that its the first time he’s had to deal with death close to home as well. Interestingly enough, BG was very very active when we were at the ceremonial hall and I told him that. He thinks maybe she was able to feel his friends presence. He had really wanted this friend to meet our baby and was so sad that he passed on before she was born. So… I think that sort of made him feel better. She really want unusually active there though… I wonder if there is a bit of truth to the fact that babies/young children are more in touch with the spiritual realm.

Anyways interestingly enough, if you are pregnant you should keep a small mirror in your pocket to reflect the spirits away from the unborn child. A tip we found out when checking “if it was ok” for me to attend. So I went mirror and all… we also made sure we were covered in salt by the time we got back into Ryohei’s parents house.

Because of all this he’s even more cooperative with my wanting to move… his relationship with his parents (particularly mom) has been pretty strained lately and now he says that this place is just too full of sad memories of his friend and all the times they had. So in the end its just as well that we are planning to move out hopefully by the end of next month – IF- the place we are seeing comes through. If not… I haven’t found any place I like near enough and we’d probably end up staying here until BG is born… (cry cry cry)

I guess we will know in about 2 days or so! I suppose me being foreign would be the most likely reason we would get turned down for the apartment… (despite the fact the one with all the cash is me.. ironically) So please send us successful apartment aquiring vibes.

Besides that not much really… days sort of blend into the next when you’ve got nothing to do and no where to go… I suppose my next big chore is to start washing all the baby clothes before the rainy season starts. BG is scheduled to make her appearence in roughly 50 more days. 50 days ago Ryohei had just moved to Niigata and was starting his new job… time goes by quick. I’m going to be up to my knees in breastmilk, vomit, and poo in no time… wow.

ALSO – take a guess at the BG Guessing Game!!! I’ll close it a month before her due date! The winner will get something from me… at some point after the birth lol!! Happy guessing!

Another pregnancy post… do you guys see the pattern here? Rant about inaka… semi-rant/rave about pregnancy… surprised I have anyone reading at all.

I think I have been introduced to a brand new friend. “Rib flare” I know it sounds delicious to me as well… as ribs bring on images of Southern Cooking – BBQ short ribs, creamy grits, and peach pie… YUM. BUT unfortunately “rib flare” is not anything I would wish on someone I liked… or even barely tolerated.

I woke up feeling like someone was slicing open my lower ribcage/upper bump with a peice of glass. It was absolutely awful… I thought it might be contractions and was freaking out that I was going to have the baby 8 weeks early but the pain didn’t go away at all like I’ve heard contractions do. I tried lying on my right side, left side, flat, standing and sitting… only lying on my side helped. Lying on my back made the pain hurt even more it went from like a 4 to a 7… OUCH. Anyways after about an hour it started to fade away and then I was able to fall back asleep and get another 2-3 hours in. But wow… birth is sure going to be fun – that was the most pain I’ve been in since I can remember. Just praying that uterus + baby do not push my ribs (right side mostly) out like that again… please please please… especially not with me going to Tokyo this weekend.

Anyways just thought you’d all like to know… Oh and I was going to post this bump picture anyways so without further ado

32 + 1 days

I closed comments on my rant post because I’m sick of making them and I know that all the people who read my blog have been so nice lately with comments and making me feel better.

But I do need to get the ranting out of my system and this is the only place that I feel I can do it right now.

I feel like since I got here life has been one big disappointment between living with the in-laws, the lack of things to do, my not so great drs. appt, and just being 8 months pregnant in general. At some point things HAVE to go up…

But… until then… I’ve got a little black rain cloud circling overhead.

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Thanks again for everyones nice posts in the last couple days. Its been a bit of draining weekend both for Ryohei and me. Not such a great start for Monday which a less than fully charged “tolerance” battery. Oh well this time next week I will be meeting up with fellow bloggers and enjoying a (hopefully) peaceful afternoon in Ueno Park!! Also we are going to see the apartment on Saturday. Really hoping that it turns out to be what we are looking for and that we can reserve it straight away. I’ve been looking at a few other places in case it doesn’t work out but for cost, access to transportation both for Ryohei and I, approximity to super market and other conveniences this place is at the top of the list. Just hope they don’t take one look at me – and run for the hills.

Thanks for all the pregnancy/doctor ignoring advice that so many of you kindly offered. I am feeling a lot better now and hopefully my next clinic visit will be less dramatic. It was sort of overwhelming with everything and next time I will try and tell the doctor that I probably have quite a different body type than what he’s used to… I doubt many western woman have given birth at my clinic..

About the blood pressure thing.. mine is only slightly elevated.. and has slowly gone up since I got pregnant which I’m sure the growing weight is responsible for… I don’t have any of the other pre-eclampsia symptoms at this point so I’m not too concerned. And my other doctor didn’t seem to have any issues with it either when I WAS concerned enough to ask about it back in Kobe.

I hope that next time I will get to ask my questions about what goes on after the birth/during the birth etc.

I think that it is so disappointing that something I should be at least a little bit looking forward to has lost of much of its fun just because I am in this stupid country. Its like they make things so hard… so much harder than they should be. That is one of my biggest complaints with Japan at the moment. Things could be so much easier but it just seems everyone – esp. the older generations are such sticklers for the deadset rules of everyone is the same and once something is done one way it must keep being done that way despite any other updated information. I think these two things are bothering me so much… back in America I would be worrying about how much birth was going to hurt me but not if I would have to hurl nurses off to keep from feeding my baby a bottle or how to beg the doctor not to cut me open down there if he didn’t think it was “completely necessary.”

I guess I just feel more disappointed than anything. I really love Japan – but I think eventually we will have to leave. Obviously not right away, Ryohei just started his new job and I know he wants to try working there for a while – but he told me he was fine with moving to my home country (although he’d prefer Europe) in a few years. He said if he hadn’t gotten to try working here then he would have always regreted it, but now that he can do that for a while he’s perfectly fine with changing things up a bit… I think that he too has changed since he last lived here (inaka). I’m sure that he still has a deep fondness for the place he grew up – but over the 5 or so years he’s been living in Kansai and Tokyo he’s probably become a bit jaded to “traditional” Japanese life as well.. I’m sure I’ve been a great influence 😛

So yah.. I guess that mostly I am just feeling a bit put off at this point. Don’t we all go through that though no matter where we live? Just hope that our realitor appointment this weekend goes well… I’m so tired of having to hide out in Ryohei’s room because talk with the in-laws is so unbelievably boring…

Thanks all

Posted on: May 24, 2009

I’ve wanted to respond to all your comments below… but had a bit of a rough day today. We found out one of Ryohei’s best friends from high school died and so I’ve been keeping him company.

Will work on a proper update and response to all your kind comments and bits of Dr. ignoring advice when I have time tomorrow.

Its been a long and hard day – and time for us to go to bed soon.