Better.. for now?
Posted May 15, 2009on:
Ok I don’t have to go and drown myself in the rice paddy… at least not tonight. Ryohei came home, we talked… he affirmed to me that he doesn’t intend to be the one to take over the house. So there were no secret agreements or anything made while I was still in Kobe. Infact he told his parents when he first moved out for University that he wasn’t interested and although they occasionally ask him about it he always says no.
So.. at least we were clear on that point. He thought SIL was being a bit out of line with all of the stuff that she was saying and said she had “the old way of thinking” which made me feel a bit better. I didn’t want him to get all “old school Japanese samurai” on me and the fact that he was still Ryohei was good. No yelling or screaming, he just listened to me and didn’t say much. I don’t think he knows just how upset I actually was, but by that point I was to out of tears and out of energy in general.
I did tell him that although I like his parents a lot – we need to get out of this area soon and get our own place. That seemed to go down ok. He wasn’t incredibly gung-ho but didn’t put up much of a fight. He apologized to me for all of this… I think that once I told him I was mentally starting to lose it he felt bad…
I wish this could all be over soon – but the one place we like doesn’t open up until the beginning of June so I’m guessing maybe the earliest we will be able to move is the end of June to early July. Money IS going to be very tight… and part of me worries about how to deal with a newborn on my own… but… I think that we need to go to neutral ground. This area is just too full of Ryohei’s family, friends, memories… we need to be in a place where we are on more equal footing.
Anyways after talking about it I feel a bit better. We also went shopping and got a few things – sliced cheese, peach jelly, chocolate crepe cake… so I had a few things I like in the house.
I have to say that my in-laws are very very nice and I do appreciate their kindness.. when we do move I want to be sure and get them something nice for letting us stay and so that they don’t think I am just trying to get away from them because I hate them – its so not that – I just need my own space for my own multi-cultral family to thrive in.
Hoping and praying that there will not be a repeat of the last 3 days
for a while ever… Just two more weeks until we can go look at the apartment which meets all of our living requirements so far on paper.
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