Once Upon a Tanbo

Better.. for now?

Posted on: May 15, 2009

Ok I don’t have to go and drown myself in the rice paddy… at least not tonight. Ryohei came home, we talked… he affirmed to me that he doesn’t intend to be the one to take over the house. So there were no secret agreements or anything made while I was still in Kobe. Infact he told his parents when he first moved out for University that he wasn’t interested and although they occasionally ask him about it he always says no.

So.. at least we were clear on that point. He thought SIL was being a bit out of line with all of the stuff that she was saying and said she had “the old way of thinking” which made me feel a bit better. I didn’t want him to get all “old school Japanese samurai” on me and the fact that he was still Ryohei was good. No yelling or screaming, he just listened to me and didn’t say much. I don’t think he knows just how upset I actually was, but by that point I was to out of tears and out of energy in general.

I did tell him that although I like his parents a lot – we need to get out of this area soon and get our own place. That seemed to go down ok. He wasn’t incredibly gung-ho but didn’t put up much of a fight. He apologized to me for all of this… I think that once I told him I was mentally starting to lose it he felt bad…

I wish this could all be over soon – but the one place we like doesn’t open up until the beginning of June so I’m guessing maybe the earliest we will be able to move is the end of June to early July. Money IS going to be very tight… and part of me worries about how to deal with a newborn on my own… but… I think that we need to go to neutral ground. This area is just too full of Ryohei’s family, friends, memories… we need to be in a place where we are on more equal footing.

Anyways after talking about it I feel a bit better. We also went shopping and got a few things – sliced cheese, peach jelly, chocolate crepe cake… so I had a few things I like in the house.

I have to say that my in-laws are very very nice and I do appreciate their kindness.. when we do move I want to be sure and get them something nice for letting us stay and so that they don’t think I am just trying to get away from them because I hate them – its so not that – I just need my own space for my own multi-cultral family to thrive in.

Hoping and praying that there will not be a repeat of the last 3 days for a while ever… Just two more weeks until we can go look at the apartment which meets all of our living requirements so far on paper.


12 Responses to "Better.. for now?"

Yay, that sounds like it made things better 🙂 Must be a load off having talked about it.

You could go and scout out the area the apt you like is in? Civilization rating?? Distance from family, kiddy things?

Glad you got to stock up on some things to last you through.

Yeah for Ryohei!

So glad to hear things feel better, now.

And I totally understand the love them but they drive me crazy in-law thing. I go barmy at a lot of what MIL does but I appreciate that she does it out of love and I’m thankful for that reason. JUST STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN!!!

Hope the new place goes well. Does the June thing mean we’re talking a NEW new place??? Jealous!

Oh and when money stuff gets you down just remember Sunny and Cher “they say love can’t pay the rent…”

Ok, try to forget that they didn’t work out though, hey? ;P

GW – Yah there will be some scouting next week maybe? Its a bit far from here (the jikka – which equals bonus points in my book) probably about 45 minutes or so by (local) train. The cost of course is over 800 yen per one way :X However it has all my requirements – 5 minutes from supermarket, 5 minute from hoikuen, 7 minutes from a huge public park, recreation facility, and library AND 12 minutes away from big station shopping center including import foods store and STARBUCKS.

Fuka – Yah, I am a Ryohei fan myself (at the moment) The place isn’t brand new, but less than 10 years old. There are people still living there until the end of the month it seems. Its a 2LDK which is on the small side for living in long long term, but will fit our family of soon to be 3 fine for a couple years at least.

I will try to listen to Sunny and Cher but not to be like them 😛

Yaay for Ryohei. I feel so relieved for you! The apartment you want sounds great, it’s so close to civilisation. Hope the next 2 weeks flies by ::)

I am so glad that you got to sit down with Ryohei and talk about it!! I knew that once he understood how you were feeling he would support your decision to move earlier than initally planned!

Im so relieved that things are looking up for you 🙂

I’m so happy that you had a good talk with Ryohei and he was able to reassure you. Bah to SIL for needlessly freaking you out and taking matters into her own hands. The new place you will be looking at sounds promising. I may just be a bit nuts, but I really like apartment hunting, something about all of the possibilities and choosing a brand new place and all … I find it very exciting! Maybe if you keep looking something will come up sooner, but this place sounds good and June isn’t that far off.

We live in a 2 bedroom 1 livingroom apartment, it is about 65 sq meters, which I don’t know, is that comparable or not? Anyhow, it is big enough for us, just barely. We’ll definitely be moving into a bigger place when number 2 comes, but for DS’s baby years it was fine. Just don’t sign longer than a year lease, newborns don’t need a whole lot of their “own” space anyhow.

Woo Hoo!!!! So happy you and he were able to have that much needed “talk”- I was thinking about you today = )

Hooray for Ryohei! I’m so glad you guys were able to talk about everything, and that at the very list, he listened to what you had to say and is sympathetic to where you’re coming from (although I know he’ll never fully “get it” being a guy and all).

So excited about the new place, I hope it’s everything you want it to be. Heck, even if it’s only 1/2 of what you want, it’ll be better than where you are now, right? LOL

Equally excited about your trip to T-town, guarantee it’ll renew your love for Japan! If you have an extra night to spare, I could book you a room at the New Sanno! You could treat yourself to a huge, American b’fast buffet and nice, relaxing pedi (mandatory for all pregnant women!)

Nice, The Ryomeister (how Aussie of me!) came through for you!
I’m going to go all motivational speaker on you and say that you have to experience the lpws to appreciate the highs and all that jazz. Things can only get better from here! Keep smiling (and communicating with ryohei)!

hehe thats “lows” not “lpws” Sorry, balancing Ash on boob!

Rachii – I hope time flies by as well!! I’d love May to be over for a large number of reasons!!

Nay – Yah, I do feel better. We will see how it ends up working out tho. I’m sure you know how it goes, one day up and the next day down again. Ive been hoping to talk with you on Skype – next week maybe?

Jessica – Yes, we would pretty much be in the exact same type of place as you. Same number of rooms and roughly the same size. I figure it will work for a few years.

GJ – thanks for thinking of me! I apreciate any positive energy I can get!

Slime – Yah, I don’t think he will probably every TOTALLY GET IT. But at least he’s willing to listen, thank god. Moving is exciting for sure… there are a couple difficulties that may come from it, but I think Mommy/Wife having full capacity of her sanity may outway them! I am intrigued with this hotel.. American breakfast, pedicure? Off to do some googlin’!

Corinne – Yah things are better… well except that Ryohei went to “work” today which turned out to be a drinking party and came home smashed and then slept for 2 hours and then ate ochazuke and salad for dinner complained of a headache and then is in bed again. However i’m still in a relatively good mood from our talk yesterday that I am not too upset that out alone time was drowned in a wave of sake. I DID tell him that there will be NO afternoon drinking once BG is here or he doesn’t need to bother coming home that day 😀 I am nice I know
I will mail u back btw – I haven’t forgotten.. just been busy caring for drunk husband 😛 I wish the baby was here as I think I’d prefer taking care of her instead ;P

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