Posted May 21, 2009on:
Just had an interesting talk on Skype with Lulu about paying for things in realtionships/family money etc… I have to admit I came off the conversation feeling that maybe I’m a bit too strict towards Ryohei regarding my opinions of “his share” of the costs in our realtionship.
As I’ve said.. we will be moving using just money from my savings – but I am insistant that he will be paying his half back (splitting costs exactly down the middle) over the next 2-3 years. I guess that maybe this is abnormal.. and I should be thinking of my savings from the last 3 years of working as “our money” but I just have a lot of trouble doing that.
I guess I see the last 3 years of my life as my “independent” time even though we were married for some of it and therefore that the money I saved is “mine” for use how I like it… travel to america, going for a masters if i decide to in the future, emergency fund incase of trouble in japan or at home etc etc… I know that any money I make from here on is “our money” maybe I would put a small percentage in my personal savings account but most of it I would contribute to daily living expenses like groceries, family travel, rent or whatever else really.
Ryohei’s salary pays little to nothing at this point, honestly if I was to take on even a 10-15 hour a week part-time job (english related) I would probably be making more than him. So… with the fact that the baby is coming and I can’t do that or I don’t want to do that until we are at least able to put her on some solid foods it means the next few months will be tight and we will have to dip into my “personal” savings a bit…
I should be ok with this right..? I guess I would be but then again it just feels like me and only me are providing once again… I don’t mind doing it for myself and BG but I sort of wish Ryohei would pull his own weight instead of depending on me (has been “lent” money from me several times before marriage and lived with me for no cost for a few months during studying in kobe) or his family (car from grandma, lots of money given to him by parents etc). Its really frustrating because where as I tend to be really good at saving… money seems to slip out of his hands so easily and I hate it. Because life goes on and we have to keep up living costs and while I was working that was fine – but now that I am not… there is less “space” for fun stuff.
That was why we planned to gaman at Ryohei’s parents for at least 4-5 months as it would be much cheaper… but apparently I couldn’t cut it as seen by last week and now we have to leave.
I know at some point things will even out… but honestly in our realtionship it seems like financially, emotionally, and in many other areas I am the one that has to make all the efforts. I am not feeling resentful beyond belief but it is frustrating and something that makes the waters a bit stormy when I’m already feeling down about other things.
Any one have anything to add about their own situations? Or just tell me what a horrible kechi wife I am 😦
PS Today is thursday.. which means my battery is almost on empty. I slowly get recharged over the weekend from being with Ryohei and getting out of the house… but from Monday – Friday I slowly lose my genki… I’ve been feeling a bit blue today so this is probably the main reason for the dark post… that and being up til 2:30 last night with spicey curry induced heartburn… no more of that until the baby comes thanks.
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