Once Upon a Tanbo

Back to Monday

Posted on: May 25, 2009

Thanks again for everyones nice posts in the last couple days. Its been a bit of draining weekend both for Ryohei and me. Not such a great start for Monday which a less than fully charged “tolerance” battery. Oh well this time next week I will be meeting up with fellow bloggers and enjoying a (hopefully) peaceful afternoon in Ueno Park!! Also we are going to see the apartment on Saturday. Really hoping that it turns out to be what we are looking for and that we can reserve it straight away. I’ve been looking at a few other places in case it doesn’t work out but for cost, access to transportation both for Ryohei and I, approximity to super market and other conveniences this place is at the top of the list. Just hope they don’t take one look at me – and run for the hills.

Thanks for all the pregnancy/doctor ignoring advice that so many of you kindly offered. I am feeling a lot better now and hopefully my next clinic visit will be less dramatic. It was sort of overwhelming with everything and next time I will try and tell the doctor that I probably have quite a different body type than what he’s used to… I doubt many western woman have given birth at my clinic..

About the blood pressure thing.. mine is only slightly elevated.. and has slowly gone up since I got pregnant which I’m sure the growing weight is responsible for… I don’t have any of the other pre-eclampsia symptoms at this point so I’m not too concerned. And my other doctor didn’t seem to have any issues with it either when I WAS concerned enough to ask about it back in Kobe.

I hope that next time I will get to ask my questions about what goes on after the birth/during the birth etc.

I think that it is so disappointing that something I should be at least a little bit looking forward to has lost of much of its fun just because I am in this stupid country. Its like they make things so hard… so much harder than they should be. That is one of my biggest complaints with Japan at the moment. Things could be so much easier but it just seems everyone – esp. the older generations are such sticklers for the deadset rules of everyone is the same and once something is done one way it must keep being done that way despite any other updated information. I think these two things are bothering me so much… back in America I would be worrying about how much birth was going to hurt me but not if I would have to hurl nurses off to keep from feeding my baby a bottle or how to beg the doctor not to cut me open down there if he didn’t think it was “completely necessary.”

I guess I just feel more disappointed than anything. I really love Japan – but I think eventually we will have to leave. Obviously not right away, Ryohei just started his new job and I know he wants to try working there for a while – but he told me he was fine with moving to my home country (although he’d prefer Europe) in a few years. He said if he hadn’t gotten to try working here then he would have always regreted it, but now that he can do that for a while he’s perfectly fine with changing things up a bit… I think that he too has changed since he last lived here (inaka). I’m sure that he still has a deep fondness for the place he grew up – but over the 5 or so years he’s been living in Kansai and Tokyo he’s probably become a bit jaded to “traditional” Japanese life as well.. I’m sure I’ve been a great influence 😛

So yah.. I guess that mostly I am just feeling a bit put off at this point. Don’t we all go through that though no matter where we live? Just hope that our realitor appointment this weekend goes well… I’m so tired of having to hide out in Ryohei’s room because talk with the in-laws is so unbelievably boring…


11 Responses to "Back to Monday"

Ah that's good. I really really hope that apt. lines up for you guys. And I'm sure after you explain things to the Dr. he'll loosen up a bit, so I hope you get to at least enjoy the last bit of your pregnancy!

It's funny– we had the same convo yesterday after I had a big, loud, homesick episode. Same story… "just started work here…" "won't be able to leave for AT LEAST 5+ years" but "wouldn't mind moving to my home country (although he'd prefer America)" lol

And again, still looking forward to this time next week! Take care ❤

i think that i get the lows of culture shock around this time of year. seems strange since it’s spring and all. but i miss home more about this time. and maybe it’s because of the way i’m feeling, but i notice that many others seem to feel the same in spring, too.

it may seem like everyone (japanese, that is) bow to the line and ‘do what everyone else does’ but secretly, in their hearts, they are doing what they want to do. even if it’s in their imagination. i find that if i use my imagination, i can ‘gaman’ through almost anything. except maybe annoying strangers who want an impromptu english lesson…

They’re not that easy to find and they don’t tend to draw attention to themselves but even here in the deep inaka there are those strange creatures- Japanese people who don’t want to fit the mould- shock!

They keep me sane!

Hope you have a great week and with Sunday to look forward to I’m sure it’ll fly by. If Ueno koen wasn’t so darn big I might even gatecrash… ;P

Sorry Japan is still getting you down. 😦 I would be totally frustrated too, in your shoes- I hope things go better at your next doctor’s appointment! And if not, I agree with everyone else, IGNORE. You’re doing fine.

I hope the apartment turns out to be what you’re looking for! Hang in there.

Sorry Japan is still getting you down. 😦 I would be totally frustrated too, in your shoes- I hope things go better at your next doctor’s appointment! And if not, I agree with everyone else, IGNORE. You’re doing fine.

I hope the apartment turns out to be what you’re looking for! Hang in there.

I do think we all go through it to some degree, although Japan does seem to pose some special challenges for you all living there. Attitudes towards pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are deeply ingrained in cultures and it is very difficult to get people to take off their own cultural lenses and see things through ours. I wish I could say it would get better, but it probably won’t, in fact once you have BG you’ll probably find people even more inflexible and set in their ways. You just learn to develop a very thick skin and stick to your guns.

The good news is that you’ll become a very confident mother and get lots of practice standing up for what you believe. No matter where you end up living, that skill will stay with you. 🙂

Khea – Yah pretty much same thing here… except that most likely I will be the main one working if we go back and Ryohei will be in charge of housework and maybe get a baito for extra cash. I don’t mind working though, just want to spend a few years at home or working part time so I can get time with the kiddywinks while they are little! Guess we will have a lot to talk about in a weeks time!! Can’t wait!

Illahee – this could be a bit of 5gatsu-byo the “May depression” that seems to be so common here. I go through bits of homesickness and bits of really enjoying it here… hope you feel better youself! any trips planned for you to go back and visit in the near future? i was only back a few months ago but already missing certain parts of americana…

Fuka – haha… I guess if I actually met the neighbors that would help.. but you never see people around here, its like a ghost town. hoping in nagaoka i can make a few “weird” japanese friends. i can “play” japanese but it tires me out… we’re meeting up on monday – only 1000 yen or so on the kosoku doro~ feel free to gate crash~ 😀

Allison – Thanks!! Sometimes are harder than others for sure… I guess that all the waiting and doing nothing doesn’t help either. Just 2 more months or so I guess!! Ryohei loves where you live by the way so that would probably be the general area of where we would be looking to end up! Lots of Japanese stuff around there so both he and I could hopefully find decent work.

Jessica – Yah, I always think I’m pretty resistant to a lot of the cutural stuff that I don’t like or agree with but in my weaker moments it can really get me down. I don’t think the fact that pretty much every single thing in my life has changed or will be changing in the span of 4 months or so is helping. I feel a bit like I’ve had too much to drink and the room is spinning around… hopefully what you say is right and this will all just help me be the best mommy for BG i can be 😛

I’m sure everything will work out fine. I think sometimes we find it so easy to say “Japan is terrible” when in actual fact it is not so much Japan as individual people differences. Just remember that if you did actually live in America there would be plenty of idiots there as well and you would choose to just ignore them and focus on the friends you have. Try to do the same here in Japan… as thefukases said there are some really wonderful people here and believe it or not they are Japanese! Of course I know you know this and I’m not trying to say that what you are saying is not valid – just keep an open mind and you will find some great people here to make your steps into motherhood a great experience. It sometimes just takes a while to find them…. and of course some of the Japanese ways are just too insane to ignore…

Jo – Yah I totally understand what you are saying… I obviously married one so I had an idea what I was getting in to (or not maybe lol) I’ve only been here a few weeks but so far no luck really… I used to have quite a few Japanese friends when I lived in Tokyo but most of them had some sort of international experience… I’ve found it a bit harder to get beyond a casual friendship with any “normal” Japanese people. There are a couple oyako type classes in Nagaoka which I would like to check out when we move there… I don’t have as much issue with individuals unless they are like SIL and trying to force me to decide my future RIGHTNOW but more of the “different is bad” thinking which my clinic left a bad taste in my mouth about. You are right tho – there are plenty of idiots in America… but at least they have (plentiful) cheese to dull the pain of dealing with them 😛

One thought…have you checked out at your local town hall if they offer maternity classes/get togethers?(Also,the clinic where you will give birth may offer classes too.)They usually have a few going on and it would be a great place for you to meet new friends who are in the same situation as you bump-wise! And once the baby is here,you will love hanging out with other mums as all you will want to talk about for the next few months(years?!) is babies.And you will be suprised at how damning a lot of the local pregnant ladies will also be about their Dr’s and the advice they are given by everyone else!

Marianne – I did look into stuff around this area but it just made me depressed… mostly because theres no way I could get there.. ok well I could take the train and get there 1.5 hours early and then leave 1 hour or so after it was over 😦 Ashi ga nai~ which is why I hoping to get to the bigger city where I can go to the city hall by train that actually comes more than once every 2 hours 😦

Living in the inaka with no car/driving is proving harder that living with MIL. My clinic does have “a class” that both Ryohei and I HAVE to attend if he wants to come to the birth. He gets to take work off for it since the bastards decided to make it a Tuesday afternoon…

Although if/when we do move there are two classes I am interested in that I can hopefully walk to within 15 minutes!! Walking to somewhere… what a novel idea (cry cry)

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