Once Upon a Tanbo


Posted on: September 6, 2009

ryohei should be home in about 3 hours

sakura is napping again which is giving me some precious internet time. i took some of the nap with her as i was completely exhuasted from only 4 hours of sleep last night.

so now i can write a bit about yesterday. i had a WONDERFUL day with lily in niigata. sakura and i headed up on the shinkansen using special tickets for use within niigata prefecture. unfortunately… its close to 3000 yen for round trip so its not necessarily a trip i can make weekly or even biweekly but monthly works and def. talking with lily was priceless. it was just the two of us and our babies and we went to a bookshop where i got the last book in the the “twilight” series.

we then had lunch outside at this little cafe. it was a beautiful day not too hot or cold. the babies slept for the most part although sakura peed all over me at one point… but the food was the delicious and the conversation was great. we talked about parenting, the way life changes, inlaws, being foreign wives… it was so refreshing and great.

in kobe i used to have similar “dates” with girlfriends at cafes and outdoors but since movint to niigata – no friend and no cute cafes…

i really like niigata city. it actually looks like a city. nagaoka is a “city” but still a dirty inaka feel to it… no offense.. just watching the scenery on the shinkansen it went from japanese style dirty buildings and rice fields to pretty buildings, parks and high rise buildings in niigata city. id be happy if ryohei could be transfered there in a year or two like he talked about. i am just such a city girl… even being in nagaoka isnt ideal for me but compared to the super inaka alternative its ok

anyways like i said i had a great day with lily. it was encouraging because she said her first son was a lot like sakura and she got through it and went on to have two more (adorable) boys.

i know i should try and find some japanese friends around here but i always feel a bit more comfortable around english speakers/western mentality… maybe its just cause i have the baby and it seems like im being judged soooo much more now. i roll my eyes at all the advice and comments that i get on a daily basis. even yesterday at niigata city some old lady was watching me play with sakura and asked if she could see. not the first time i was asked that… i have no idea why they think babies cant see until there 2 months or so. my mil and gmil said the same thing… its one of those things like the always cold thing or stupid other stuff

ok but im ranting so ill stop now…

anyways cant wait to see ryohei tonight. i missed him and was frustrated with him for going off and having fun.. but mostly missed him although i feel like i never see him anymore. i miss “our time” so much. we always did so much together and now due to sakuras arrival im too tired and busy to do anything and the baby sort of limits night stuff since she is a demon then.

oh well.. i know eventually well be able to do stuff together… just a few more months i guess.Β i feel like all have to say about being a parent is complaints. there are good things too… but honestly the frustrating out ways the fun at the moment and as my blog is more of getting my frustrations out there you have it…

anyways sakura is due to wake up anytime now so my freetime for the evening is over. we are now heading into 5pm + which is the worst part of the day. just hoping with ryohei around tonights bed time wont be and horrible as yesterday.


10 Responses to "evening"

Sounds like a great day! Even if you can only pull it off once a month, it looks like a worth while investment and something to actually look forward to on a regular basis~~ Hope you can continue meeting her.

Hang there! Unfortunately, you’re not the only only waiting for time with your hubby lol We just gotta get through this stage, and then the next, one by one I guess. When they’re teenagers I’m sure we’ll be longing for the days when they were tiny and cute, couldn’t talk and actually relied on us XD

One more week (less?!) until Tokyo!! ❀

I know i live super far away, but if there is anything I can do to help out, please let me know. I am online most of the time> excited to see Sakura and you this december!

I never really thought the divide between east and west was THAT bad till reading your blogs, and really I have to give you props for putting up with it, it must be very hard living in this world when western world brings girls up so differently. You are doing a great job! talk to you soon and hang in there πŸ™‚ ❀

So glad you are feeling better.5 minutes without a babe in tow is such a tonic and can make us feel human again!The adjustment to motherhood is very tough and I think it is the loss of “me” time which is the hardest thing to get used to;can’t even pee in peace.As everyone says,it does get easier as you get used to the massive change in your life and the baby egts used to her life;)

One thing I did learn with DD1 was that if we went out for longer than an hour,we knew we were in for a rough day or two ahead with a very cranky baby,and mother;)

Hope you enjoy a lovely long shower/bath this evening once Ryohei is back.And a good night.

Glad to hear you had such a lovely day yesterday with Lily in Niigata City- I love lady lunch dates πŸ™‚

I am similar to you- up until returning to Japan this time a lot of my friends were Japanese but since coming back this time I truly value my time with my English speaking friends. I think it is because of the similar mentality that you spoke about.

I still hang out with Japanese friends from university but it usually in biggish groups for birthday parties and what not and I still always have lots of fun but obviously life has changed a bit in the last six month with getting married and pregnant. I think I now also realize that to stay sane in Japan I need the outlet of having English speaking friends, especially those in similar situations to myself.

Ryohei should be home by now- I hope you get your “own” time, even if it is just for a little bit. Hope Sakura goes down easy tonight, fingers crossed.

My Japanese mommy friends all complain about their moms and mils and old women asking stupid things too. πŸ˜‰

So jealous about you meeting up with Lily, wish I could be there to cuddle both your babies!

Just saw your post from yesterday, so glad you finally managed to get her to quiet down and you got some sleep (even if it was very little).

Sounds like you had a great time with Lily, hopefully you will be able to continue that.

Definitely try to get some “you” time in when Ryohei gets home, and make sure he stops going out for on weekends for awhile.

I’m the same way with friends — I prefer English speakers. Part of it is circumstance. My Chinese co-workers are all younger than me (as an aside, this makes me feel really old! The only TWO people older than me in the office are the 60 some year old physics prof and another mom with a 7 year old) and can’t really relate to the mom thing, but a big part of it is just needing someone to relax and, let’s face it, complain with. I’m not down on China all the time, but it is nice to have friends that know what I mean if I say “Arghhhh! China sucks!”

Anyhow, I’m glad Ryohei will finally be back and he can give you a break, and that he’ll be there to keep you company. The lack of “us” time is, imo, one of the hardest things to get used to about parenthood. My husband and I were like you guys, we used to do loads together and have a lot of fun, and it isn’t that we don’t have fun now, but it isn’t the same. The good news is that as the baby gets older you’ll find ways to make time for yourselves as a couple, and your relationship will change, but also grow. πŸ™‚

Glad to hear you had a nice trip with your friend the other day. You definitely deserve more easy-going days like that, right now!

Here is the book I mentioned:

Belong To Me by Marisa Los Santos.

If you give it a thumbs up why don’t we invite the other Niigata Mama’s to read along and arrange a date to discuss it in October or November.

How did Ryohei do on his own with Sakura?

Much needed break! Just read the previous post, you poor thing, single parenting must be so hard, I’d go crazy I think! The lady days out are a neccesity when it comes to dealing with grumpy babies I think. Maybe you should come to Osaka for a ‘hike’ next weekend and leave Ryohei with some pumped breastmilk and a hearty “Ganbatte!” πŸ˜‰

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