Once Upon a Tanbo

More Single Mothering

Posted on: January 27, 2010

Starting from yesterday to a month from now the days Ryohei will NOT be here are… 10. Yes 1/3 of a month…

Ridiculous huh? Add 6 month old – middle of growth spurt – up at least 4 times a night Sakura into the mix… and you have one very tired me with much more still to come.

It just really sucks that Ryohei IS SO BUSY. And that so many of his activities fall on the weekends.. seriously. In the next 5 weekends he will only be here for two of them.

He’s going to Osaka this weekend, has a ski trip with work two weeks from now, and working all weekend long at the of Feb.

So much for komuin being a family friendly work environment. I don’t know any other husband who is AWAY so much. Sure.. other people work later than Ryohei does but at least they are home in the middle of the night should WW3 with the baby break out.

It just sucks since it means Sakura and I are alone together for so much time… and I just miss having adult (meaningful) conversation as “oh your gaijin baby is so cute” baba attacks from the grocery store don’t count.

So I’m escaping to Nagano Friday – Monday yay. Taking the train down with Sakura, it should take about 3 hours so we will see how that goes although after surviving 9 and 11 hour plane rides 3 hours sounds like a piece of cake. Would be faster if I could drive/had a car… but I don’t so thats just how it is.

We had Sakura’s 6 month check up yesterday – my first “cattle call” type check up. It was ok though… lots of “kawaii”s and “me ga dekai!” (cute and she has big eyes) but just nodded and “hai hai”d my way through it. Once again f=ing Niigata is so inconvenient. I had to take the bus there and with only 1 bus an hour and a 30 minute ride… I was there about 45 minutes early and had to wait an extra 30 minutes after I was done. What should have taken about 2 hours took 4… and we get to do it all over again next week when I take Sakura to get her first polio vax at the the same place >_<

She also has the last of her DPT vax today but thankfully the clinic that we get them from is only a 15 minute walk and its nice out today so I'm crossing my fingers for smooth sailing.

I also have to figure out what to do with Sakura when I got to Hello Work to pick up my first paycheck. I guess I can try calling the kindy again.. I'm just in a bit of a pickle since Sakura refuses to take a bottle. I should have given her one once a week or so… but now she will not take it and will not drink anything but boobies from the source… so putting her into the kindy for a few hours is going to be a pain in their butts. But not much I can do about it I guess…

Question about Hello Work for those of you have gotten your insurance… so you have to do two "job hunting" activities a month. Can you count the day that you go in to pick up your check as one if you get "advisement" or whatever? There is a Hello Work with a mothers corner closer to me which I plan to go to satisfy one of the requirements but it would make is so much easier if I could just get the other one over the day of picking up my check. Please let me know if this is possible.

But yah… thats my life.

Hard to believe this time last year I was living it up in Kobe… it seems like forever ago. I've been in this hell-foresaken prefecture for… 9 months now.

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1 Response to "More Single Mothering"

I had to snort at the idea that being a koumuin is more family-friendly… Like you, I really struggled with all the time that D had to be away because of work stuff. One particularly dark weekend was when he got to go to Tokyo and Tokyo Disneyland with his students for a week. I was insanely jealous as I was having a Kagoshima-hating period of my life and would have loved to escape. I remember really resenting the fact that D could just pick up and go whenever he wanted to without worrying about what Joey was/wasn’t doing as he always assumed that I was the one responsible for Joey and his paraphernalia.
My UK-ified brain is thinking “surely he could skip the work ski-trip is he is so busy with other work stuff in the same month?” but then I think back to how things work in Japan and I guess that just isn’t an option.

Single mothering is hard but I think it is even harder when you are supposed to have another pair of hands to help you. For me, I signed up for the single mother gig so I don’t complain about it because I knew I wouldn’t have anyone else to help me out. For women in Japan it is really hard because your partner is there but not “there” alot of the time because of work/socialising. In London this might be the case in some families but their husbands are normally earning ALOT of money so you can almost justify it internally but obviously, with Japanese koumuin, that isn’t the case so it just ends up being a depressing situation where you resent being left on your own so often.

Anyway, this is turning into a bit of a rant. I know this is going to seem an awful thing to say but I can’t believe it has only been 9 months since you moved to Niigata. Just goes to show you how horrible it must be because if it feels like longer to me, it must feel like a lifetime for you! (Sorry, I know that isn’t helpful but it is true! LOL!) ((((HUGS))) from me. Hopefully Ryohei will be around a bit more soon.

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