Once Upon a Tanbo

Archive for the ‘inlaws’ Category

well the silver week holidays are over and we are moving on into october… hard to believe

first wanted to shout out to heather for a wonderful stay at her house earlier this week. not only were we treated to a delicious homemade pizza oven pizzas and brazillian sausages – but she and her daughters took us on a tour of downtown matsumoto!! we had a wonderful time and thanks so much for helping me with the baby. also really loved the board game that all us “adults” played!! so thank you so much for having us and i hope we can visit again when sakura is a bit older and more “fun.” i think heather’s daughters – amy in particular were disappointed in sakuras lack of being able to play but they loved “petting” her and calling her “pretty baby” – made me giggle!!

ryohei is back to crap work again… there is a bunch of stuff going on early oct through my birthday in mid october so pretty much wont be seeing him til late at night and maybe one weekend day a week… hes not working til midnight every night but at least when he was salarymaning it up in tokyo i would have been close to all my tokyo living friends…

sakura will be 2 months soon and shes been going through another grumpy patch the last couple days which has not been fun. at least we have her bedtime routine down somewhat. on a good night from bath to asleep it takes about an hour on a bad night… 3 + (sigh) shes also taken to WAKING UP MORE AT NIGHT. up until this week she was getting up once for a feed and then would sleep until 5:30-6ish… now shes waking up 2-3 times a night. GAH. shes also sucking on her hands constantly even when i’ve just fed her so im guessing its more of a comfort thing than a hungry one?! all this guess work sucks – i cant wait to have baby 2 and be a pro at all this stuff. poor firstborns they really do get all the experimentation (am a firstborn myself)

this month had a lot of “activities” but next month i dont. however im planning to go to osaka/kobe beginning of nov. and shizuoka to see nay end of nov. and then its only a week or 2 until my christmas visit to the us!!!

also al waiting to see if the magic 3 month mark (oct. 28) is what it is cracked up to be with less crying and a more “social” and “portable” baby. interestingly enough 10/28 is ryohei and my 3rd annivesary as well.

also.. can someone explain the whole “baby cant see until they are 3 months old thing” i ran in to one of the grannies in my neighborhood who upon hearing sakura was 2 months said – i guess it will be another month until she can see then. um… sakura can track or a face now – im pretty sure she can see… where do the japanese come up with this crapola?! someone save me from the inaka and all the backwaterness that goes on here esp. when childraising is involved :/


am currently typing one handed with sleeping baby on my lap so forgive any mistakes. sakura didnt nap at all yesterday so taking this precious time while i get it πŸ™‚

i used to play a song for her in the womb and i finally got around to playing it for her today and SHE FELL ASLEEP. i didn’t even know i had such a powerful ace up my sleeve?? of course its probably a one time only thing but still sleeping baby equals bliss and a bit of mommy computer time.

today my sil is out of the hospital and coming here for the night with iroha-chan!!! i bet there will be loooots of pictures. had another grabby mil incident which prompted to write a very scathing mail to ryohei on his lunch break aboutΒ  telling him hes not allowed to spend the night out after this weekend and that i refuse to come back here to visit until at least october or so.. i was very pissed.

we were planning to go home tonight but simce sil is staying here too hoping that the smaller baby will hold mil’s attention more than huge gaijin 1 month old.

ryoheis brought up moving to america a couple times in the last few days even going so far as to asking me when and what we needΒ  to do to apply for a green card. i think something may have happened to make him want an escape but nothing to do with work apparently?? well.. as much as moving home soon sounds appealing realistically it wouldn’t happen for another 5 years when sakura and (theoretical) sprog 2-ban are preschool aged.

just was surprised to have it brought up about 3 times in the past week. guess i just need to keep encouraging the idea as dont want to live in rural niigata for rest of my life. tbh id like to live at home but id actually prefer to live in a big japanese city like tokyo or osaka but ryohei wont quit his job to move to another place in japan so options are limited 😦

anyways from tmw night we will be home again… we’ve been here a week and a half now. sakura is 5 weeks today and is getting smiling down altho she doesnt do it much. she can also track objects she likes when i wiggle my fingers in front of her face πŸ˜€ last two nights have been a screaming crying mess but we had some better ones before that… just keep telling myself in a few weeks the worst of it will be over but in the middle of a neverending crying spell it feels like forever.. oh well…

at heast before the end of the month we will have taken a trip to tokyo/chiba, nagano, and ill be getting ready to go abd visit osaka/kobe in october. lots of fun stuff planned then 3 weeks home in dec. heres hoping that sakura is a bit more settled and happy by that point lol

Not mastitis – thank GOD. Sakura sucked out my plugged duct last night which hurt like hell but provided instant relief. Rock hard to flabby in about 30 seconds.Trying to make sure it doesnt happen again as it really was pure hell.

Had a wonderful visit with Laura of Japanmama and her family who came up from Gunma to meet Sakura! Her daughter Hannah seemed to really like the baby and tried to “take care of her” it was very cute and she was very helpful with bringing me wipes and the like!!

Of course I’ve been at my inlaws over a week now so English conversation as well as escape from “Japanese childraising ideals” was a HUGE blessing. We are here until Tuesday and at this point I am hating every minute of it. My MIL has seemingly gone on a huge power trip and seems to spend most of the time trying to take Sakura away from me. Yesterday when Laura was here was the worst.. she just kept grabbing her away and taking out of the room. One or two times she asked me but the last time I had just finished changing Sakura and she just scooped her up and took her away without saying a word. I was PISSED. I am actaully pretty laidback about people holding Sakura but I hate when MIL does it especially backseat parenting. She’s made all sorts of comments about my apprently incapability to parent Sakura right and its infuriating me.

I can NOT wait to leave. We are only staying until Tuesday because thats when my SIL is getting out of the hospital and coming over for the afternoon before she goes to her own parents house in Southern Niigata. I want to see my niece but am NOT impressed with grabby MIL.

Like I was telling Laura whenever Sakura smiles and coos for her it PISSES me off… I keep saying it but this time I mean it… I am not coming back here for a while although MIL said I should stay until at least mid-September. Damn Ryohei is going on his stupid camping trip this weekend which means he will be gone Friday and Sat. night and will try and pressure me into coming back here. I’m serious when I ask if anyone wants to come up to Niigata for the weekend… because that would give me a reason to stay in Nagaoka…


Anyways here are a couple pics


with ms japanmama


being examined by hannah onee-san


future friends? we hope so!!



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Posted on: August 8, 2009

Sorry can’t even think of a decent title for this post – guess my brain has been fried to the limits. I’m stealing a quick however long Sakura will give me before she turns into a night monster… she’s actually sleeping really well tonight but yesterday was AWFUL.

We spent the night at Ryohei’s inlaws and they didn’t want us to come down until after 8pm – right in the middle of nut out central so we had an hour long car ride with a screaming baby who was only satiated by my mom sticking her pinky in her mouth although that only worked about half way through the trip. Lets just say it was one of the most stressful driving experiences I’ve had yet. When we got there she proceeded to scream and scream and nothing we did helped to settle her. I would feed her hoping to get her to drowse off but she kept batting away the boobie or taking a little bit and getting angry and then Ryohei would hold her and rock her and she would sort of drift off but if we tried to put her down she would be furious again and scream and cry and the cycle would start all over again.

I think the siuation was exsasperated by a few things… first of all I think she was overtired. She hadn’t napped since 3 and by the time we FINALLY got her to bed it was almost midnight. Me thinks that 9 hours of awake time is a LOT for a newborn. Second… I am embarrased to admit this but I’ve been having a bit of “release” issues regarding the toliet…I had to take a laxative a couple times in the hospital and after being discharged hope things would go away but looks like still having issues and having stitches you know where doesn’t help. So I went to the drug store and bought a laxative… I ASKED the lady if it was ok to use while breastfeeding and she was like “oh yes yes..” well.. maybe it was a coincidence but right around the time the medicine kicked in for me giving me VERY painful cramps (small flash back to contractions) Sakura began to poo like crazy… I think she was pooing up 3-4 times in about 2 hours… so I have a slight guilty feeling she had a laxative along with mommy (it was quite effective for me btw) sorry this post is so TMI its not even funny. So I can imagine that maybe she had the same sore tummy that I did 😦

Anyways there were parts of last night where I was so MAD. Overtiredness really really is scary… you can see why people do stuff they regret. Thankfully Ryohei was there so I had someone – but I can’t imagine having to deal with such an angry baby all alone (altho I will have to at some point)

Day with the inlaws was ok… got the comments as soon as we walked in. “Oh the baby looks cold” “Is it ok to be holding her like that before her neck is a bit stronger” blah blah… honestly. It was less than a minute after we walked in before those two comments came and a few others as well.. I think if my own Mom hadn’t been there I would have gotten quite a bit more. Oh well – we will be seeing the inlaws next week for Obon but then I don’t think we will be seeing them again for a few more weeks – yay!!! Less people to make me feel like I’m incapable of being a parent the better.

Anyways it was nice to be back to our own place tonight… things are slowly getting easier but its still really hard to leave home for more than an hour. My mom and I have been on a couple short walks but since I’m still iffy on breastfeeding and still needed to use my boppy pillow and sit in a certain way I’m a bit apprehensive to do it away from that situation. Example A trying to breastfeed at my inlaws with no “sitting” furtnature.. (sigh) I’m sure that the fact I couldn’t get into a comfortable position between itchy stiches, laxative pains, large boobies, and floopy baby didn’t help.

Anyways on the positive – Sakura is getting bigger and more alert everyday! I don’t know if shes what they would call a “happy baby” but she is pretty easy going (unless shes hungry) and likes cuddles and music. I can’t believe she’ll be 2 weeks soon… part of me thinks she is so cute at this age but I think a bigger part of me is hoping to reach the 6-8 week stage where she’ll be smiling and have a bit more neck control, I still feel like I’ll break her sometimes.

Anways I’m sure I’m going to get a wake up call in the next hour or 2 so time for a quick nap.

Thanks to everyone who has been commiserating with me or helping me out!! Motherhood is sooo much harder than I thought.. its so weird it just doesn’t hit you until its too late πŸ˜› But thats ok – trying to take one day at a time, no ones been hurt yet πŸ˜›

But just for a day.. Ryohei’s friend has his wedding today about 10 minutes away from the “family home” so I agreed to come and spend the night here so that he can “drink” at the wedding – yes I am a super nice wife. Doesn’t really matter anyways since still no action on the baby front. Not a cramp, not a niggle, nothing…

My due date is on Tuesday so unless there is some major action I foresee being one of the lucky “overdue” type Mommies. Just HOPING that she is out by the next up coming weekend as things start getting complicated with guests coming and long hospital stays and limited transportation etc from next week’s Monday/Tuesday onwards… (27th/28th+)

Right now I am “hiding” out in Ryohei’s room again. He’s already gone which means its just me and the inlaws and I don’t fancy talking with them until I’m called downstairs for dinner. Ryohei won’t be back until at least 10pm… and I really would prefer not to have a conversation about 1. the baby 2. my hospital stay 3. how I am feeling – so here I will stay. I’ve been really tired anyways and had a nice(?) two hour nap which is probably going to make it harder to sleep tonight but oh well…

Since tomorrow is another holiday we had semi-plans to go to the beach area (about 40 min drive or so from Nagaoka) but it has been constantly raining so maybe not. Haha.. of course tomorrow is “Umi no Hi” or Beach Day so I’m sure a ton of others would have the same idea.

So I guess thats it… I feel so run down and tired. Not sure if its the bad weather, preparing for birth, or something else. I think I am getting to the point where it really feels like this whole baby business is just a myth and that its not going to happen… its a very weird feeling. Altho she has gotten a bit less active – I have a feeling she will be here before or around this time next week… but its hard to imagine it AND the whole process of her getting here.

Anyways thats it I guess… another hour or so to hide in “the cave” before being forced to spend an evening chit chatting (alone) with PIL. At this point I could really just do without it – Ryohei better appreciate this πŸ˜›

Feed Me!

Posted on: June 30, 2009


You can’t expect to have me live with you and only provide me a quarter bag of cereal for breakfast, one slice of toast with ham and cheese for lunch, and then have us waiting until past 8 for dinner with no other way for me to ingest something besides oolong tea and have me be ok with the situation.

I am starving so starving that my stomach acid is making me have heartburn again.

Not cool… not cool at all.

So sick of living in the bloody inaka where I can’t even go the shops to get something to eat. Its worse than being in high school its like being a f****** toddler.
And no – theres really no point at making a fuss now… Sorry if this sounds petty, but starve a 37 week pregnant woman and this is what you get.

See what I mean about Ryohei not being here – at least he would be able to take me out. When its just me all of a sudden its Cinderella (pre-fairy godmother) treatment. I HATE IT HERE!!! Hear me ROAR!!!!