Once Upon a Tanbo

Archive for the ‘ryohei’ Category


Posted on: October 18, 2009

Yay how nice was it to actually have family time this weekend!

We did a lot of going out and even managed to “celebrate” my b-day a little bit. Well we went out for 100 yen sushi and ended up eating almost 3000 yen worth! Sakura was a really really good girl until the last 10 minutes or so we were there when she got tired/hungry and had a massive meltdown. I could feel the daggers from all the other patrons so we got out.

My birthday present was a TV! (lol) We haven’t had one since we moved to Nagaoka and my Japanese has been getting worse without one. Since I spend most of my day in “english” now with Sakura my Japanese has sort of gotten sloppy plus I enjoy a few Japanese programs. We were almost going to get a 32 inch flat LCD tv but we decided it was too over budget for now and got a 5000 yen 14 inch analog tv instead lol. We might get the bigger one when we have a bit more in the bank to spend on that kind of thing. The 14 incher is fine for now and should be until Japan switches to completely digital broadcast in July ’11 – my little girl will be almost 2 then! Wow.

Today we went out for ramen and then went shopping at this huge shopping center (the one that sells Nutella – which I stocked up on btw) I can get the rest of the stuff at the bigger Nagaoka market but not the Nutella and since its a bit of a drive it was better just to stock up on it lol. While we were there we saw the Melty Kiss winter only chocolates were out!!! So exciting! I love Melty Kiss, I used to buy it when I lived in the states as well from the Japanese market.We also got a laundry rack for hanging clothes inside since its already starting to get COLD here. It should start snowing around this time next month – not really sure if I am looking forward to that.

In other news, Ryoheis mom emailed him and told him she had rented a kimono for Iroha to do her Omiya Maeri today and asked if we wanted to have one for Sakura. I figured take advantage of the free fancy kimono and good picture op and told him to say yes so we will have her (LATE) shrine visit next Sunday. I can’t wait to see her in the kimono!! Last week I printed out over 100 pictures from her birth until recent to put in the albums I had recieved. It was crazy to see how much she had changed in just 12 weeks… thats right she will be 12 weeks on Tuesday which means no longer a newborn. A legit baby!

She hasn’t started laughing yet but I hope she will in the next week or two.. she does make very high pitched squeals and kick and “swim” when shes excited though.

Speaking of… need some sempai mama advice. I think Ryohei is fairly sad that she doesn’t really react to him. She definitely prefers me – which is not surprising considering I deliver her food and am the one to hangout/play with her for all her waking hours. About when do babies start recognizing and “enjoying” their Daddy? I try to make sure Ryohei and her have time together but he gets really disappointed when she won’t react for him like she does to me and says stuff like “she prefers you anyways…” and goes back to his computer or whatever while poor Sakuras just lying there on her blanky 😦 I think if she was a bit more responsive to him he would play with her more… so just wondering if you guys have any advice or when she’ll start being more sociable with him…

Recent Sakura –> DVC00107


Today is my birthday but it felt like any other day unfortunately 😦 Actually worse than most other days… Sakura was up for a bit last night for the first time in a while which meant less sleep then I’m used to and then she didn’t nap a lot this afternoon and had a huge sobbing breakdown on the way home from th supermarket aroun 5:30 pm.

Needless to say I got her to sleep by 7 and am now “relaxing.” Ryohei brought me some flowers… not bought – brought. He had some business meeting today and they were extra left over Lilys. They smell nice but that was it. Such an uneventful day… I’ve heard that once you become a parent your own birthday sort of just becomes a non-event. So true… not sure how I feel about that.

I did treat myself to a Starbucks though! My beloved creme brulee is gone now but in just a few short weeks the Holiday Season drinks will start – I’m hoping the Gingerbread Latte will be back… I could consume those everyday and not get tired but of course my poor wallet and poor “get my body back” regime.

Sakura will be 3 months soon and now that things are more or less in some sort of routine I’m considering options for making a bit of money since that would be very helpful. I’m considering sending out some resumes to freelance translation agencies again but may wait until we get back from our vacation in Dec. Sakura will be 6 months end of January and I’ll feel more comfortable having her spend a half-day or two a week in the local kindy so I can get some work done. There are two that take non full time kids about a 5 minute from our house and both of them are fairly reasonable.

I’ll also be going to collect my “unemployment insurance” from Hello Work come January.. I was thinking of just going to “look and collect” but I may seriously consider something if I can find it although we’ll see if theres anything out there that would be a decent fit.

So for a Sakura update – she’s growing up so fast! Her neck is almost stable and I think in another couple weeks it will be completely there. She’s been drooling and “foaming at the mouth” recently. I can see where her two bottom front teeth are going to come in. They haven’t started poking through yet but there is a depression in her gums where they will be coming out.

She still is a relatively sensitive baby and we have a few crying jags daily especially towards the mid-afternoon and onwards. She seems to get bored easily and always wants some sort of activity or going ons to occupy her. It can be pretty exhausting… not that I would want a baby that just lays there staring off into space but when I’m trying to get stuff done and she’s getting bored and starts screaming her head off it can be quite trying.

At least her nighttime sleeping for the most part is good. She usually nurses until she is drowsy and then I can leave her to fall asleep and she’ll stay that way for the next 6-8 hours. Then nighttime feed between 2-3 and asleep until 6ish. Its really nice because I can get a lot of stuff done at night which is part of the reason if I took on a bit of freelance translation work I think it would be ok…

Ryohei has been so busy the last month.. I think that he must have worked at least 2-3 hours overtime everynight and then most of the weekends. He had his last busy day today but has a drinking party tomorrow and won’t be coming home so it will be just Sakura and me. The last time she was 6 weeks and we had a horrible 5 hour crying jag which ended in me just having to let her cry until she was tired… so praying that it won’t be a repeat performance. I put her to bed every night alone anyways but at least Ryohei is around in theory. Parenting overnight on my own still makes me nervous.

Things have been ok with us lately… with Ryohei being so late recently we haven’t really gotten to talk much or be together… and the last couple weekends he’s either been working or we’ve been with his relatives so we haven’t had much just the nuclear family time. I feel a bit distant right now – my life just feels like Sakura and me all the time. Since she goes to sleep so early she only sees him for about 30 minutes in the morning 😦 Oh well he should be getting home at a more reasonable hour starting next week but since Sakura goes to bed so early she won’t get to spend any time with him at night until she can stay up later. She literally HAS to been in bed by 6:30 – 7 or she goes insane… at least I know WHY I was having so many issues earlier in her life. She is just not a night owl and we were keeping her up too late.

Anyways I guess thats it… life sort of feels like its passing me by. I’m looking forward to going to Osaka at the end of the month to break up the monotomy of it all.

well the silver week holidays are over and we are moving on into october… hard to believe

first wanted to shout out to heather for a wonderful stay at her house earlier this week. not only were we treated to a delicious homemade pizza oven pizzas and brazillian sausages – but she and her daughters took us on a tour of downtown matsumoto!! we had a wonderful time and thanks so much for helping me with the baby. also really loved the board game that all us “adults” played!! so thank you so much for having us and i hope we can visit again when sakura is a bit older and more “fun.” i think heather’s daughters – amy in particular were disappointed in sakuras lack of being able to play but they loved “petting” her and calling her “pretty baby” – made me giggle!!

ryohei is back to crap work again… there is a bunch of stuff going on early oct through my birthday in mid october so pretty much wont be seeing him til late at night and maybe one weekend day a week… hes not working til midnight every night but at least when he was salarymaning it up in tokyo i would have been close to all my tokyo living friends…

sakura will be 2 months soon and shes been going through another grumpy patch the last couple days which has not been fun. at least we have her bedtime routine down somewhat. on a good night from bath to asleep it takes about an hour on a bad night… 3 + (sigh) shes also taken to WAKING UP MORE AT NIGHT. up until this week she was getting up once for a feed and then would sleep until 5:30-6ish… now shes waking up 2-3 times a night. GAH. shes also sucking on her hands constantly even when i’ve just fed her so im guessing its more of a comfort thing than a hungry one?! all this guess work sucks – i cant wait to have baby 2 and be a pro at all this stuff. poor firstborns they really do get all the experimentation (am a firstborn myself)

this month had a lot of “activities” but next month i dont. however im planning to go to osaka/kobe beginning of nov. and shizuoka to see nay end of nov. and then its only a week or 2 until my christmas visit to the us!!!

also al waiting to see if the magic 3 month mark (oct. 28) is what it is cracked up to be with less crying and a more “social” and “portable” baby. interestingly enough 10/28 is ryohei and my 3rd annivesary as well.

also.. can someone explain the whole “baby cant see until they are 3 months old thing” i ran in to one of the grannies in my neighborhood who upon hearing sakura was 2 months said – i guess it will be another month until she can see then. um… sakura can track or a face now – im pretty sure she can see… where do the japanese come up with this crapola?! someone save me from the inaka and all the backwaterness that goes on here esp. when childraising is involved :/

am currently typing one handed with sleeping baby on my lap so forgive any mistakes. sakura didnt nap at all yesterday so taking this precious time while i get it πŸ™‚

i used to play a song for her in the womb and i finally got around to playing it for her today and SHE FELL ASLEEP. i didn’t even know i had such a powerful ace up my sleeve?? of course its probably a one time only thing but still sleeping baby equals bliss and a bit of mommy computer time.

today my sil is out of the hospital and coming here for the night with iroha-chan!!! i bet there will be loooots of pictures. had another grabby mil incident which prompted to write a very scathing mail to ryohei on his lunch break aboutΒ  telling him hes not allowed to spend the night out after this weekend and that i refuse to come back here to visit until at least october or so.. i was very pissed.

we were planning to go home tonight but simce sil is staying here too hoping that the smaller baby will hold mil’s attention more than huge gaijin 1 month old.

ryoheis brought up moving to america a couple times in the last few days even going so far as to asking me when and what we needΒ  to do to apply for a green card. i think something may have happened to make him want an escape but nothing to do with work apparently?? well.. as much as moving home soon sounds appealing realistically it wouldn’t happen for another 5 years when sakura and (theoretical) sprog 2-ban are preschool aged.

just was surprised to have it brought up about 3 times in the past week. guess i just need to keep encouraging the idea as dont want to live in rural niigata for rest of my life. tbh id like to live at home but id actually prefer to live in a big japanese city like tokyo or osaka but ryohei wont quit his job to move to another place in japan so options are limited 😦

anyways from tmw night we will be home again… we’ve been here a week and a half now. sakura is 5 weeks today and is getting smiling down altho she doesnt do it much. she can also track objects she likes when i wiggle my fingers in front of her face πŸ˜€ last two nights have been a screaming crying mess but we had some better ones before that… just keep telling myself in a few weeks the worst of it will be over but in the middle of a neverending crying spell it feels like forever.. oh well…

at heast before the end of the month we will have taken a trip to tokyo/chiba, nagano, and ill be getting ready to go abd visit osaka/kobe in october. lots of fun stuff planned then 3 weeks home in dec. heres hoping that sakura is a bit more settled and happy by that point lol

Can’t sleep again although this time its not only no baby frustration but car damage worries as well..

I guess Ryohei and I are on better terms than a few hours ago when I wrote my first post. I tend to get angry and then be ok when I “cool” down although I am FAR from happy about the events of the evening. I do feel annoyed with Ryohei since he should have been more careful and its not like that pole jumped out of nowhere….


He’s sleeping curled up on the futon making the exact same face as BG in this


photo we got 20 weeks ago and muttering “kuyashii” (roughly – this really sucks) in his sleep. Its a bit pathetic really but I’m a big softy so I’ve been giving him a bit of a back pat/cuddle.

Oh by the way my prediction was off yet again – I had thought I would go into labor Friday night/Sat. early morning and be having the baby a few hours from now. And now with the whole CAR issue there are new worries I hadn’t even thought to consider before tonight.

Ryohei got the car from a dealer in his parents town which means that is where he is taking it to get looked at tomorrow after my appointment but there is no way I am going to go with him esp. if we have NO car + we are stuck an hour away from the clinic in case something happens. Honestly.. if they are willing to just take me and induce me tomorrow then so be it… now that we don’t have reliable transportation esp. if the car is in the shop its just safer for me to be in the clinic than not.

Nothing is going as planned and for a person who likes to have things under control that is very hard to accept. I have way too many emotions bubbling up inside of me at once to deal with it all right now. Sadness, frustration, regret, pity, anger…

I told Ryohei how much I regreted ever coming here… that we should have stayed in Kobe and I should have worked at my job another year or two and that we shouldn’t have had a baby – but that its not BG’s fault. Its not like she asked for us to make her… All my anger and biterness just poured out and like two weeks ago I just cried and cried and cried for hours… At this point it doesn’t take much to set me off and the shock of everything plus the gradual building of frustration was like mixing baking soda and vinegar.

Oh… speaking of baking. Ryohei had stopped at the store to buy us mini-chocolate cakes to celebrate the weekend on the way home. I didn’t know until later this evening since after I heard the huge crash of metal on metal before he came stumbling through the door everything is a blur. I can’t hate a man who looks so much like my daughter probably will and brings me chocolate cake without any warning…. but… its still so hard. I really really wanted to just pack up and go home – not like it would solve anything but that seems to be my automatic reaction when the going gets rough.

I just want a normal disaster free life with my husband and child… It feels like all these trials are not helping to strengthen that but instead make me rethink my choices over the past year more than ever before 😦

Man Logic

Posted on: July 19, 2009

3pm Japan time

Man: Don’t worry I’ll be home around 9 – 10pm
Woman: Have a good time!

8:30pm Japan time

Woman: (email) No sign of the baby coming. See you between 9 – 10pm.. Its boring here I can’t wait until you get back
Man: (email) Ah.. looks like I’m going to be later than 10pm, but its ok because I’m not drunk.

I SERIOUSLY have an issue with this situation… I HATE when Ryohei changes his arrival time – if you say you are gonna be home by a certain time then please stick to it… doesn’t matter if the wedding ran over or what.. the only thing that is going on now is the after ‘drinking party’ and I think an hour or so there is FINE before coming home esp. if he’s not drinking or whatever

I could make a huge stink about it bring up the whole “you promised me” line.. but it just doesn’t seem worth it. I guess I’ll just conveniently be off the store when Daddy is home and BG has a huge poopy diaper sometime in the next couple weeks – petty but sure makes me feel better.

EDIT: Man promises to bring woman ice cream on the way home… woman feels a bit bad for being so hard on him… πŸ˜›

But just for a day.. Ryohei’s friend has his wedding today about 10 minutes away from the “family home” so I agreed to come and spend the night here so that he can “drink” at the wedding – yes I am a super nice wife. Doesn’t really matter anyways since still no action on the baby front. Not a cramp, not a niggle, nothing…

My due date is on Tuesday so unless there is some major action I foresee being one of the lucky “overdue” type Mommies. Just HOPING that she is out by the next up coming weekend as things start getting complicated with guests coming and long hospital stays and limited transportation etc from next week’s Monday/Tuesday onwards… (27th/28th+)

Right now I am “hiding” out in Ryohei’s room again. He’s already gone which means its just me and the inlaws and I don’t fancy talking with them until I’m called downstairs for dinner. Ryohei won’t be back until at least 10pm… and I really would prefer not to have a conversation about 1. the baby 2. my hospital stay 3. how I am feeling – so here I will stay. I’ve been really tired anyways and had a nice(?) two hour nap which is probably going to make it harder to sleep tonight but oh well…

Since tomorrow is another holiday we had semi-plans to go to the beach area (about 40 min drive or so from Nagaoka) but it has been constantly raining so maybe not. Haha.. of course tomorrow is “Umi no Hi” or Beach Day so I’m sure a ton of others would have the same idea.

So I guess thats it… I feel so run down and tired. Not sure if its the bad weather, preparing for birth, or something else. I think I am getting to the point where it really feels like this whole baby business is just a myth and that its not going to happen… its a very weird feeling. Altho she has gotten a bit less active – I have a feeling she will be here before or around this time next week… but its hard to imagine it AND the whole process of her getting here.

Anyways thats it I guess… another hour or so to hide in “the cave” before being forced to spend an evening chit chatting (alone) with PIL. At this point I could really just do without it – Ryohei better appreciate this πŸ˜›