Archive for August 2009
Unplugged but Unpleased
Posted on: August 30, 2009
- In: friends | inlaws | pictures | Sakura
- 21 Comments
Not mastitis – thank GOD. Sakura sucked out my plugged duct last night which hurt like hell but provided instant relief. Rock hard to flabby in about 30 seconds.Trying to make sure it doesnt happen again as it really was pure hell.
Had a wonderful visit with Laura of Japanmama and her family who came up from Gunma to meet Sakura! Her daughter Hannah seemed to really like the baby and tried to “take care of her” it was very cute and she was very helpful with bringing me wipes and the like!!
Of course I’ve been at my inlaws over a week now so English conversation as well as escape from “Japanese childraising ideals” was a HUGE blessing. We are here until Tuesday and at this point I am hating every minute of it. My MIL has seemingly gone on a huge power trip and seems to spend most of the time trying to take Sakura away from me. Yesterday when Laura was here was the worst.. she just kept grabbing her away and taking out of the room. One or two times she asked me but the last time I had just finished changing Sakura and she just scooped her up and took her away without saying a word. I was PISSED. I am actaully pretty laidback about people holding Sakura but I hate when MIL does it especially backseat parenting. She’s made all sorts of comments about my apprently incapability to parent Sakura right and its infuriating me.
I can NOT wait to leave. We are only staying until Tuesday because thats when my SIL is getting out of the hospital and coming over for the afternoon before she goes to her own parents house in Southern Niigata. I want to see my niece but am NOT impressed with grabby MIL.
Like I was telling Laura whenever Sakura smiles and coos for her it PISSES me off… I keep saying it but this time I mean it… I am not coming back here for a while although MIL said I should stay until at least mid-September. Damn Ryohei is going on his stupid camping trip this weekend which means he will be gone Friday and Sat. night and will try and pressure me into coming back here. I’m serious when I ask if anyone wants to come up to Niigata for the weekend… because that would give me a reason to stay in Nagaoka…
Pissssssssssed…
Anyways here are a couple pics
with ms japanmama
being examined by hannah onee-san
future friends? we hope so!!
sakura-chan!!!
no no no no
Posted on: August 28, 2009
anything that can go wrong will go wrong apparently.
as soon as one issue ends another begins. pretty sure i have mastitis.. or at least a plugged duct but more likely mastitis because it came on fast. i woke up from a nap and my boob was killing me. i cant even hold the baby without it stinging in pain and my breast milk is salty (sorry tmi ;_;) or at least half of it is.. the left side of my right boob is salty and the right side of my right boob is sweet/normal…
gah…
am also feeling very tired and run down although maybe that is just because im the parent of a one month old… have been trying to squeeze out some of the extra milk..
did i mention my insurance just ran out… so if i end up having to see a doctor its going to be fun fun fun…
we had to give sakura to ryoheis mil again because it was too painful for me to hold her and ryohei just gave up after a bit… >_<
i just want to cry and give up… and my boob hurts… i better get sakura and try nursing her on it again but im so exhausted its hard to concentrate…
Yay
Posted on: August 27, 2009
- In: life with baby | pictures | Sakura
- 11 Comments
I am an Auntie!!! My SIL had her baby girl Iroha this afternoon!!
I think like Sakura she has the “Kobayashi nose”
A lot of people have said Sakura’s nose looks like mine but I think its much more similar to her dads especially around the nostrils.. and for a comparison here are a couple of pics of me at 1 month.
And of course can’t have a comparison post without the original model~
Speaking of… I was reading the Dr. Sears website on how to tell if you have a high needs baby or not and it was pretty much as if he knew little miss herself. (sigh) I am going to try weaning dairy out of my diet a bit and see if that helps – I LOVE LOVE LOVE dairy so its going to be a bit of a challenge but I love sleeping and my sanity even more so we will see if that helps.. but anyways looks like Sakura is classified as high needs – I guess what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger although I had hoped for a happy/easy baby for #1… hopefully things will be better in a month or two.
Oh – she’s napping or maybe sleeping i guess since its almost 10pm) right now after another 2 hour scream fest… but whatever I’m enjoying the quiet while it lasts!
Nightmare
Posted on: August 26, 2009
Having another nightmare night… not to be confused with 4 out of 5 of the other nights… I am ready to seriously give Sakura away at this point. And technically I have – since I’m letting MIL deal with her right now. I needed to let someone else deal with her and Ryohei is off at work so… options were limited. So now I’m hearing her scream at MIL and not me.
Honestly I don’t understand why daytime is so easy and night is SO (BAD WORD) difficult?! Last night was a battle that lasted from around 6:30pm to 1am (!!) Am I wrong in thinking this is WAY to long for a bedtime routine to last?! Its like 4-5 hours of trying to satiate her at the boob and then she’ll get angry and Ryohei will hold her (she will NOT sleep if I am holding her usually) and then she’ll sort of nod off but then pop up back awake with plenty of screaming and tears. At this point both of us just get so frazzled at sometime during the night we just have to set her down and sit next to her while she cries and it sure doesn’t tire her out as she can keep it up for a long long time.
Its frustrating for me too becuase after a certain point my boobs get all limp and it gets hard for to latch on which makes her even more angry when they keep popping out of her mouth. Occasionally Ryohei or MIL will get her to sleep and we can put her down but shes back up again after 30 minutes and angrier than ever.
I am so frustrated… It annoys me as well because I can’t get her to sleep on my own… it seems like I always need someone to step in and help me. I am not looking forward to next weekend when Ryohei will be gone Friday and Saturday nights and I really… dont want to come back here. Anyone fancy a weekend in the Niigata country side next weekend?
Sakura is fairly easy to put down in the morning and afternoon she falls asleep at the boob alot and is so docile and will easily go to sleep by herself in a basket or futon.. but once she gets up from her afternoon nap getting her to sleep is like a marathon of pain pretty much everynight. It is making me crazy and frustrated – I think maybe she has colic or something? I don’t know its not so much that she just screams inconsolibly (although she does) its just nothing will soothe her to sleep… at least nothing that constantly works. The boobs are the most likely solution but with her still growth spurting away they are so floppy and unlatchable (to her) by the time I’m trying to nurse her to calm her down for the 4th or 5th time in as many hours…
I did not win the baby lottery.. at least not at this point. I seemed to have picked the booby prize (hah hah hah) Honestly I wish at this point I could just let her cry herself to sleep but I think shes way way to little to consider that… is the only thing I can do just gaman until that point… ahh the screaming is starting again. Guess MIL is having a rough time of it as I do…
Wish I had more patience or something I feel like such a crap parent.
Oh btw – just to make things more difficult she HATES being swaddled. Kick kick scream scream and she hates the pacifier suck suck push out scream… anyways my head is swimming but I need to stay up until MIL brings her back. Damn Ryohei for his stupid night work… I hate that he gets to “escape” all this and I’m always stuck dealing with out incredibly unhappy daughter…
debut
Posted on: August 25, 2009
since wordpress makes you pay to upload videos i’ve upload sakura’s debut (smiling a bit) to my old blog
hope you guys enjoy!!!
Protected: Rolling my eyes
Posted on: August 24, 2009
- In: inaka | inlaws | life with baby | rant | Sakura
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right on schedule
Posted on: August 21, 2009
- In: life with baby | loneliness | Sakura
- 15 Comments
Sakura’s 3 week growth spurt hit today with avengence…. I think I’ve spent at least half of the last 12 hours feeding her. Def. not the normal 2-3 hours inbetween feedings that I was used to…
We will see how night is… I usually get her to go for a 5 hour stretch, wake up for a feed, then another 2-3 hours but if daytime is any indication I can kiss that time goodbye.
Im going back to the clinic tmw for my 1 month check although its a few days early but my stupid husband has work related commitments for the next two weekends after this so looks like this is our only time…
A bit lot miffed at this stupid work trumping family – but not a surprise considering ryoheis most please the company japanese man mentality. He has a 4 day long festival Mon – Thurs and then electiond half of Sat and all of Sun. Then NEXT weekend hes going on a mountain climbing trip. ass…
So I’ve been convinced to go stay at his parents starting this Sunday through next Saturday instead of being alone with the baby all week. Not so sure how I feel about all this.. but whatever. I’m the one doing most of the parenting already anyways… so much for the help and support.
Anyways this week has had a share of good and bad days with the baby… weds i was in tears and going insane from lack of sleep but yesterday was fairly easy. Today has been trying with all the feeding but at least the inconsolble crying has been at a minimum.
I have been horrible about responding to emails and msgs but i am reading them. anyone who wants to visit is more than welcome.. i am so lonely and wish i had another set of arms around to hold the baby or just someone to talk too…
ive been going on walks to get out of the house but really wish i had friends nearby 😦
3 Weeks In
Posted on: August 18, 2009
- In: life with baby | motherhood | Sakura
- 26 Comments
Sakura is 3 weeks today!!
Just a bit of an update since I didn’t do 2 weeks because I was busy with my Mom being here.
Report :
Breastfeeding – no issues to speak of anymore. still have some booby fussiness when shes angry but pretty much going smoothly and shes def. chubbing up which is cute! shes getting some meat on her face and thighs for sure
Sleeping – oh boy… lets not even go there… sleep is still decent AFTER the battle of getting her down. i face every nap time and bedtime with a sense of dread. the only thing that works time and time again is nursing her down in ryohei and my bed – we’ve been cosleeping as that seems to be the only thing that we can do at night. during the day she will occasionally sleep in her bed but at night it has to be boobies with mommy and daddy. we only have a semidouble bed so i had to bring the futon in from the other room as 3 people can not fit on our bed comfortably.. last nights bed battle was only about an hour but involved screaming and her falling asleep exhausted in my arms… sigh sigh sigh sigh she can be rocked to sleep pretty easily but wakes up as soon as you put her down and the fun starts again. she spits out her pacifier and kicks out of her swaddle and just puts up a hell of a fight for poor tired mom and dad :
Me – tired and frustrated see above… not really experiencing any of the pleasures of parenthood yet. more times than not i would just like to send her back from where she came although i doubt she would fit anymore
Ryohei – he’s trying but the more time i spend with the baby and get to know her the more i have to bite my tongue when he does stuff “his way” or just gets overly concerned (i am BY FAR the more easy going parent) that being said he does help out at night by rocking her down a bit but then gets frustrated when she inevitably wakes up 😦 hes still quite enamored with her though.
Sakura – is a bit of a crabby baby… she probably falls between the touchy and grumpy baby whisperer babies. which is challenging especially since as i first time parent i feel like i’m on the trail with no map and no compass. im hoping that she will be a bit happier soon, its not fun to spend your day with someone who just gets angry at you and fights you all the live long day. the only time i have peace is naps and i have to go through hell just to get her to do that
ok well… little miss seems to be waking up again which means no nap for me this time
i really wish i had friends in the area – i miss all my mommy friends from kobe/osaka… it would have been so nice to have them around to help out. i feel like i am doing everything wrong – im sure everyone feels that way but its not a great way to feel
Schedule?
Posted on: August 17, 2009
- In: life with baby | Sakura
- 16 Comments
Thanks again for all the great replies to my last post – a bunch of you brought up putting the baby on a schedule so I am trying that from today… so far so good. I think part of my issue has been keeping her up too long between naps. I looked up info on the “EASY” schedule that Sarah and several other mentioned and had her up at 8:30 and back in bed for a nap by 10am and now at 11:30 shes still sleeping….
Had a bit of angry crying when I tried to put her down and had to use the pacifier a bit but she spit it out before she fell asleep anyways. I used to last hour and a half to get two loads of laundry done – yay!!
Will see if this continues to work for me and Sakura. Since its just the two of us now (my mom left yesterday morning) hopefully this will be a good time to implement some sort of routine.
We have devil baby visit us every night and I am sooooo done with that. Sakura is def. a bit of a grump she cries a lot and never really seems to be happy. I’m looking forward to when she starts smiling as it would be nice to have a bit of cheer from her since pretty much 85% of the time shes awake its crying. The other 10% is boob and the last 5% is her “good mood”
Sigh – parenting is hard. Hopefully I can catch a nap during my next “Y” part of the EASY schedule. I’d love to get my hands on the book – wonder if its on amazon…
EDIT – Well obviously nap 1 was a hit and consequently now on a miss.. Sakura is obviously tired shes clawing at her eyes and yawning and now screaming for the last… 40 minutes or so as all my tries at getting her down for a second nap are failing. Feels like a repeat of the night and I am so frustrated… this overtiredness seems to really get her and can go on and on and on for hours (see every night the last week pretty much)
Once Upon a Tanbo 