Once Upon a Tanbo

Archive for August 2009

Not mastitis – thank GOD. Sakura sucked out my plugged duct last night which hurt like hell but provided instant relief. Rock hard to flabby in about 30 seconds.Trying to make sure it doesnt happen again as it really was pure hell.

Had a wonderful visit with Laura of Japanmama and her family who came up from Gunma to meet Sakura! Her daughter Hannah seemed to really like the baby and tried to “take care of her” it was very cute and she was very helpful with bringing me wipes and the like!!

Of course I’ve been at my inlaws over a week now so English conversation as well as escape from “Japanese childraising ideals” was a HUGE blessing. We are here until Tuesday and at this point I am hating every minute of it. My MIL has seemingly gone on a huge power trip and seems to spend most of the time trying to take Sakura away from me. Yesterday when Laura was here was the worst.. she just kept grabbing her away and taking out of the room. One or two times she asked me but the last time I had just finished changing Sakura and she just scooped her up and took her away without saying a word. I was PISSED. I am actaully pretty laidback about people holding Sakura but I hate when MIL does it especially backseat parenting. She’s made all sorts of comments about my apprently incapability to parent Sakura right and its infuriating me.

I can NOT wait to leave. We are only staying until Tuesday because thats when my SIL is getting out of the hospital and coming over for the afternoon before she goes to her own parents house in Southern Niigata. I want to see my niece but am NOT impressed with grabby MIL.

Like I was telling Laura whenever Sakura smiles and coos for her it PISSES me off… I keep saying it but this time I mean it… I am not coming back here for a while although MIL said I should stay until at least mid-September. Damn Ryohei is going on his stupid camping trip this weekend which means he will be gone Friday and Sat. night and will try and pressure me into coming back here. I’m serious when I ask if anyone wants to come up to Niigata for the weekend… because that would give me a reason to stay in Nagaoka…


Anyways here are a couple pics


with ms japanmama


being examined by hannah onee-san


future friends? we hope so!!




anything that can go wrong will go wrong apparently.

as soon as one issue ends another begins. pretty sure i have mastitis.. or at least a plugged duct but more likely mastitis because it came on fast. i woke up from a nap and my boob was killing me. i cant even hold the baby without it stinging in pain and my breast milk is salty (sorry tmi ;_;) or at least half of it is.. the left side of my right boob is salty and the right side of my right boob is sweet/normal…


am also feeling very tired and run down although maybe that is just because im the parent of a one month old… have been trying to squeeze out some of the extra milk..

did i mention my insurance just ran out… so if i end up having to see a doctor its going to be fun fun fun…

we had to give sakura to ryoheis mil again because it was too painful for me to hold her and ryohei just gave up after a bit… >_<

i just want to cry and give up… and my boob hurts… i better get sakura and try nursing her on it again but im so exhausted its hard to concentrate…


Posted on: August 27, 2009

I am an Auntie!!! My SIL had her baby girl Iroha this afternoon!!


I think like Sakura she has the “Kobayashi nose”

A lot of people have said Sakura’s nose looks like mine but I think its much more similar to her dads especially around the nostrils.. and for a comparison here are a couple of pics of me at 1 month.



And of course can’t have a comparison post without the original model~


Speaking of… I was reading the Dr. Sears website on how to tell if you have a high needs baby or not and it was pretty much as if he knew little miss herself. (sigh) I am going to try weaning dairy out of my diet a bit and see if that helps – I LOVE LOVE LOVE dairy so its going to be a bit of a challenge but I love sleeping and my sanity even more so we will see if that helps.. but anyways looks like Sakura is classified as high needs – I guess what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger although I had hoped for a happy/easy baby for #1… hopefully things will be better in a month or two.

Oh – she’s napping or maybe sleeping i guess since its almost 10pm) right now after another 2 hour scream fest… but whatever I’m enjoying the quiet while it lasts!

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Posted on: August 26, 2009

Having another nightmare night… not to be confused with 4 out of 5 of the other nights… I am ready to seriously give Sakura away at this point. And technically I have – since I’m letting MIL deal with her right now. I needed to let someone else deal with her and Ryohei is off at work so… options were limited. So now I’m hearing her scream at MIL and not me.

Honestly I don’t understand why daytime is so easy and night is SO (BAD WORD) difficult?! Last night was a battle that lasted from around 6:30pm to 1am (!!) Am I wrong in thinking this is WAY to long for a bedtime routine to last?! Its like 4-5 hours of trying to satiate her at the boob and then she’ll get angry and Ryohei will hold her (she will NOT sleep if I am holding her usually) and then she’ll sort of nod off but then pop up back awake with plenty of screaming and tears. At this point both of us just get so frazzled at sometime during the night we just have to set her down and sit next to her while she cries and it sure doesn’t tire her out as she can keep it up for a long long time.

Its frustrating for me too becuase after a certain point my boobs get all limp and it gets hard for to latch on which makes her even more angry when they keep popping out of her mouth. Occasionally Ryohei or MIL will get her to sleep and we can put her down but shes back up again after 30 minutes and angrier than ever.

I am so frustrated… It annoys me as well because I can’t get her to sleep on my own… it seems like I always need someone to step in and help me. I am not looking forward to next weekend when Ryohei will be gone Friday and Saturday nights and I really… dont want to come back here. Anyone fancy a weekend in the Niigata country side next weekend?

Sakura is fairly easy to put down in the morning and afternoon she falls asleep at the boob alot and is so docile and will easily go to sleep by herself in a basket or futon.. but once she gets up from her afternoon nap getting her to sleep is like a marathon of pain pretty much everynight. It is making me crazy and frustrated – I think maybe she has colic or something? I don’t know its not so much that she just screams inconsolibly (although she does) its just nothing will soothe her to sleep… at least nothing that constantly works. The boobs are the most likely solution but with her still growth spurting away they are so floppy and unlatchable (to her) by the time I’m trying to nurse her to calm her down for the 4th or 5th time in as many hours…

I did not win the baby lottery.. at least not at this point. I seemed to have picked the booby prize (hah hah hah) Honestly I wish at this point I could just let her cry herself to sleep but I think shes way way to little to consider that… is the only thing I can do just gaman until that point… ahh the screaming is starting again. Guess MIL is having a rough time of it as I do…

Wish I had more patience or something I feel like such a crap parent.

Oh btw – just to make things more difficult she HATES being swaddled. Kick kick scream scream and she hates the pacifier suck suck push out scream… anyways my head is swimming but I need to stay up until MIL brings her back. Damn Ryohei for his stupid night work… I hate that he gets to “escape” all this and I’m always stuck dealing with out incredibly unhappy daughter…


Posted on: August 25, 2009

since wordpress makes you pay to upload videos i’ve upload sakura’s debut (smiling a bit) to my old blog

hope you guys enjoy!!!

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